Two Powerful Techniques to Connect with an Audience

I’ve been speaking and sharing my message for the past 25 years and have been blown away by the response. I was what I like to call “unconsciously competent” at it until about five years ago when I started to really take a look at the science behind speaking.

I became more consciously competent and developed 17 techniques to become a more powerful speaker that I teach to my students on my campus.

Now, when I say speaking, I’m not just referring to speaking from a stage. A speaker is ANYONE who wants to share a powerful message, whether you are a teacher, attorney, politician, musician, artist, student, mom or dad.  It does not matter what line of business you are in or what your lifestyle is. It doesn’t matter whether you are talking to an audience of 1 or 10,000. Words are powerful, and people will listen if you establish a connection with them.

I want to share with you two of my best techniques to help you connect and captivate your audience:

#1     Show the Experience vs. Tell

Share with your audience (no matter the size) what you were thinking. What was going on in your head at the time? Then paint a picture of what you were feeling. This creates a bond with your audience and forms a true connection. It’s one of the most vulnerable techniques, so not that many people like to do it. If you do it well, it becomes your Unique Service Proposition (USP) and makes you stand out.

Example: “I was sitting in the waiting room and really could not believe how much I wanted this job…but was I qualified enough? Would they like me? (THINKING) My heart was racing, and I was scared and nervous. (FEELING)

#2     The Audience Connection Formula – AKA “Me, We, You”

The second technique is not easy either, but it has a very high ROI when it comes to audience connection. It lets your audience know that you are not speaking from a mountaintop down at them. It lets them know you are right there with them climbing that mountain together. It creates a sense of glue or community/camaraderie. It does this instantly, and it’s a beautiful thing.

First, you have to put your own skin in the game if you want the audience to put their skin in the game. You gotta give them your heart first, so they’ll lend you their ear. You show me yours, and I’ll show you mine. The second part is we’re in this together. Then the last part is where you show up as the teacher. You do this AFTER you’ve created a sense of community.

Example: There was a time in my life when I often questioned if I was good enough to be a speaker. Was I smart enough to be a CEO? Could I run a company? (The ME) We have a tendency to have a desire…have a dream..have a goal, and then almost instantly question if we are the right person to make it happen. (The WE) Has there ever been a time in your life when you wanted something and you really, really felt like it was something that you could handle? Then, you instantly questioned whether you were the right person for that task? (The YOU)

To recap, here is my three-step formula:

There was a time when I …. (you choose the experience)

We have a tendency to … (common experience)

Have you ever… (choose question related to same topic)

You can try variations of this later on when you become savvier at it, but right now practice using this formula.

If you practice these two techniques so they begin to feel natural, you will see your speaking elevate immediately. You’ll see your audience wanting more of you.

Remember, this show is not just a monologue. It’s a dialogue, and I would love to hear from you. I would love to know what’s on your heart. I would love to know your biggest #Aha’s from this episode. Did either of these techniques resonate with you? Maybe you already do this when you speak naturally. If so, I wanna hear about that too.

This is your home, and we are your tribe. And when I say I love you and believe in you, it’s because I really do.

47 replies
  1. Shilo Battle
    Shilo Battle says:

    This science of speaking,instantly grabbed my attention. I thank you for you!! I want to become part of your movement. I want to be a student! Your spirit is remarkably aligned with cultivating the masses. I know my soul will continue to heal. By way of your spirits

    Reply
  2. Maria
    Maria says:

    WOW! I’ve been seeking a practical way to become more effective in sharing my message in my interpersonal, business, and as a platform speaker. Your method is soooooo amazzzzzing. Thank you! Now, I’m ready to invest in more of your messages.
    Best Regards, my sister and my friend!

    MariaDee

    Reply
  3. Kim Evinda Lepins
    Kim Evinda Lepins says:

    Lisa,
    Thank you for these two techniques. I’ve been in ministry for just under 10 years now…I was just going to write ONE book…God had another plan. My sister told me about you quite some time ago and just decided, finally, to open up one of your videos and glad I did. I am in the midst of writing a filming guide for my 8-part curriculum; actually working on the 5th one now. I unconsciously do speak in the Me, We, You format but now want to begin practicing consciously these points as I prepare to film my next segment. Thank you for your heart and thanking God for the gift of U!

    Reply
  4. Georgia
    Georgia says:

    I don’t have a web site yet. I think I do #1 to help bring about common situation of understanding without revealing total story to show awaremess. Communicating in some situations with empathy when necessary with out giving my whole story. I like to express relatability when necessary. I am going to consider this more when communicating. I do know I think I have to learn not to talk to much even though I have had many challenges and experiences.

    Reply
  5. Nicolet
    Nicolet says:

    I am glad that I took the time to listen. What I’ve learned in the short time was priceless it helps me to be more consciously connected with my conversation. Thank you Lisa.

    Reply
  6. Lennie Stephens
    Lennie Stephens says:

    These are great techniques. And yes I have been practicing them without being aware of it. It’s amazing it’s like answering the call on your life and you don’t know how or if you can do it. When all you need are the right tools which you already have and don’t know it. They just haven’t been pulled out. Thank you. Sign Doris

    Reply
  7. Brittany
    Brittany says:

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with the masses. I truly love getting your messages of hope. You always make me feel connected to a community.

    Reply
  8. Cornelia Ziegler
    Cornelia Ziegler says:

    Hi Lisa!
    Thank you soo much for this technique.
    I wanted to give a meaningfull feedback to a group of people, whom I was leading the last 21days.
    Today, all day long, i was thinking… what shall I say? how shall I say it? how shall I start? how shall I end? and what’s inbetween….? I felt sooo happy and releived when I saw your email today in my mailbox!!!
    there is my answer and guidline. i’ve chosen the first technique. there is still room for improvement from myside, but i am very happy with my result of the voice message!
    Thank you Lisa!!
    stay healthy
    cheers
    Cornelia

    Reply
  9. Joleen Frideres
    Joleen Frideres says:

    Thank you, Lisa. I have been a loving Tribe Member for 20 years when I met you at the conference group where you lead Teen Challenge. I have struggled, sometimes I feel my very passion to reach people, help people as a therapist feels like TOO much. Now I feel like “rotting fruit on the vine”. Delicious & ripe, able to serve so many struggling with old hurts that still hurt, feeling stuck in life situations that feel like “life sentences”, yet not enough are drawn to pick & ENJOY my fruit. Thank you for not “giving up on me”. You keep me hanging on. I WILL better following this nugget you just shared, as I hear it for the 1st time (the hundredth time). 😉 This song came into mind as I watched this ~ Enjoy
    I want you to want me… by Cheap Trick.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qgpewMCVjs

    Reply
  10. Nita
    Nita says:

    Lisa, I really enjoy listening to you and appreciate the jewels shared on this video. I am using these practices when writing as a way to connect with my audience. I liked when you stated we should create a dialogue within our audience to establish rapport and/or create a connection. I value your wisdom and expertise, please don’t stop sharing!

    Reply
  11. Barbara Roman
    Barbara Roman says:

    Thank You Lisa: these two technique are so powerful. the most interesting speakers are those who include you in their story or make you feel a part of it, or reflect your story in theirs

    Reply
  12. D
    D says:

    Wow Lisa, thank thank you so much for sharing these two amazing techniques and encouraging message very powerful. I have a coaching session at work this week Wednesday and I am practising and using them now with family and friends. Monday and Tuesday with work colleagues to gauge the responses then Wednesday and on-going. I really appreciate your timely delivery of this powerful communication tools.
    Amazing.
    I appreciate you and your team’s help.

    Keep strong, safe and well.

    Take care of you.

    Dee

    Reply
  13. Yolanda Jones
    Yolanda Jones says:

    The aha moment for me was the beginning of your presentation. Your 1st tip: Show your experiences vs tell your experience. Drawing your audience into your experience so they can feel what you experienced. I plan to definitely practice and use at my next opportunity.

    Reply
  14. Theresa
    Theresa says:

    Hi Lisa, You make me feel like a promise! a possibility! someone of worth. Continue to “Serve” the world. You are an amazing individual. Blessings.

    Reply
  15. Carla
    Carla says:

    I love your message. I love being part of your tribe. I’m studying to become a licensed counselor and I also want to become a transformational speaker. I want to become a house hold name one day. Keep doing great things Lisa

    Reply
  16. Kimberly F. Costner
    Kimberly F. Costner says:

    Yes, this was very refreshing and insightful. I find that I am unconsciously competent with ‘showing an experience’ when I communicate, and I’m doing the Me, We for the most part but I don’t believe I’m incorporating the You. Even as I’m not doing speaking engagements/presentations at this time, I do a lot of Supervisory communication with our team at work, in addition to communicating with my family and others… In my future endeavors, it will definitely be a life goal for me to be prolific with speaking engagements. Thank you for this experience.

    Reply
  17. LaVerne McLeod
    LaVerne McLeod says:

    Hello Lisa, I find that your methods are very informative. I plan to practice these techniques over and over so I can be effective as a speaker to a large audience or a very few. You are doing amazing work.
    Thanks,
    LaVerne

    Reply
  18. William Lee Jr
    William Lee Jr says:

    Lisa
    Thank you for the 3 final points. Those are powerful connectors to the audience.
    Similar to when you use feel, felt, found to connect with the audience.
    I will implememt the three final points you shared on my Tuesday webinar.

    Thank you so much.
    Keep up the good work.

    William

    Reply
  19. Tami Barrera
    Tami Barrera says:

    Wow, I never understood why people listened sometimes and not all the time. Now I know, when I used these techniques without knowing I was using them the conversations went well. When I got selfish or spoke about myself by telling, the person was not connected and their mind was somewhere else. Thank you so much for this insight.

    Reply
  20. Mahlomola
    Mahlomola says:

    This is amazing to hear because I really need the speaking techniques and I feel it will add to my character and relationship with people around me.
    Thank you

    Reply
  21. Flora Issa
    Flora Issa says:

    wow! Lisa thank you for this two Techniques this is amazing! i will not be the same will apply this two technique to fully bring an Impact.

    Thank you

    Reply
  22. Robin Haysbert
    Robin Haysbert says:

    Lisa, you are my unofficial mentor.I have gained so much insightful information. The techniques you shared, let me know I am on the right track in my story telling,whether it is my book or what I trying to relay on my website, you have confirmed me being on the right path.

    Thank you
    Robin

    Reply
  23. Neco J.
    Neco J. says:

    I usually speak about my experiences or discuss what the audiences experiences but I’ve never put them together like this. The Me, We, You technique really spoke to me and I will be applying this! Thanks for sharing this knowledge!!

    Reply
  24. TREASUREE Kemp
    TREASUREE Kemp says:

    This was a dynamic impactful message. I have been told I could be a great motivational speaker. I believe it’s because I have unconsciously used 1 or more of these techniques. Thank you!

    Reply
  25. VESNA
    VESNA says:

    Dear Lisa first of all my #BOL is that doesnt matter wich job u r doing,if u have a story,tell it on a stage,know how to put words together,cuz words have power
    Thank you for these two techics,yes I get it my #AHA moment,tell the story,what u r thinking and feelings…great
    and ME WE YOU formula # AHA

    Reply
  26. MaryEllen
    MaryEllen says:

    This is great Lisa! I realize that unconsciously I’ve been doing step 1 (tell what you were thinking & feeling) . Now that I am aware of it’s power, I’ll polish my story telling skills!
    The audience connection formula is equally powerful and I am going to incorporate both steps into my book I’m about to publish, currently titled: “Learn the Simple, Secret, Superpowers in I AM Statements”.
    Thank you!

    Reply
  27. Paul j Kelly
    Paul j Kelly says:

    Thank you Lisa
    For another powerful positive two points
    3 ways, me, we ,you 🙂
    Possibility to connect
    Paul j Kelly Trillionaire Inside:)

    Reply
  28. Joslynn V Harris
    Joslynn V Harris says:

    Hello Lisa, Thank you for what you do. You are phenomenal. I’m so glad that I receive emails from you. I always mean to take the time to click on them and hear your messages. Tonight, I finally did. I did it because I am making a change in my life to improve my speaking and engagement skills. My goal is to learn how to connect with my audience, to be effective and efficient. My goal is to know what to say and when to say it and how to say it. My goal is to be able to overcome objections and to be a sought out resource.

    Wow, Do you know what you just did!?! I have been trying for weeks to articulate to myself what my speaking goal was. I couldn’t find the words. And I just now found them! Wow!!!

    Thank you! Joslynn

    Reply
  29. Ashley Blanco
    Ashley Blanco says:

    This is SO helpful to watch. I’ve also shared this unconscious competence. After hearing you uncover the keys to connecting with people while speaking, I plan to do more of it consciously and be confident while doing it. It’s a great way to support people in their journeys and create communities of belonging and inclusion.

    Reply
  30. Kay
    Kay says:

    Thank you for these tips. Reading this post has streamlined and cemented things in my mind. It’s ok to share your fears and/or doubts when sharing your story without fearing that it’ll take away from what you’re teaching. It actually does create a sense of community.

    Reply

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