How to Motivate Others to Take Action

Hi, and welcome back to the Lisa Nichols Show. Today, I want to talk about a question I get asked pretty regularly: How do I get people motivated to take action and change when I know how they are acting is not healthy?

You know I love reading your comments, and one viewer named Mimi hit the nail on the head with her comment on a previous episode. She said, “Everyone learns at their own pace. Some will eventually get it and some will never get it. Accept them as they are and lead by example. “ Mimi, I love this so much. I struggle with this question about changing others, because we can’t actually change anyone. They have to want to change. All we can do is show them the way when they are ready.

People are watching you more than they are listening to you. If you want to impact their lives and help them to change, show them rather than tell them. Model the behavior and actions that you know would be best for you (and perhaps, for them). They have the choice to meet you where you are, or stay the same. You cannot make that decision for them. When you shift direction in your own behavior, and you stop engaging in the arguing or pettiness, others will shift to meet your behaviors – if they want that change in their own lives.

So, what happens when you try to force change? Usually, it results in resentment and the relationship becomes strained and difficult. Your heart is in the right place. You want your family and friends to be the best versions of themselves. But take a minute to put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone was telling you that you needed to change? You might feel “not good enough” or that they don’t love you the way that you are. Without meaning to be hurtful, you might be hurting people when you tell them they need to change.

There’s a statistic that 50% of marriages that end in divorce end that way because one person went into the marriage thinking that the other person would change. You cannot expect another person to change – you must love them and accept them exactly as they are. If you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t enter into a relationship with them in the first place. Now that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to shift and change – healthy people with a growth mindset are going to evolve. The key is to enter into a relationship with someone who has the same core values and ideals that you have, and grow together into better versions of yourselves.

Maybe there was a time when you didn’t engage with this channel, because you weren’t ready, but here you are now. You saw that there was a better way by engaging with this channel or others who inspire you. You are changing because the time is right for you. Your circumstances dictate when you decide to change… but you can’t expect everyone to change and grow at the same pace as you. They aren’t having the same life experiences that you are having, or if they are having those experiences, they aren’t responding to them in the same way that you are.

You have the decision to “opt-in” or opt-out” of a relationship, job, or experience. You need to make that decision. If you decide to opt-in, you must accept, love and respect the situation with your whole heart. Not everyone has to be exactly like you, but they can follow your lead if they choose to do that.

Your job is to be 100% YOU – lead by example with your unique blend of qualities that you have developed over your lifetime. You are the culmination of everyone you have experienced in your life – your parents, grandparents, siblings, partners, friends and children. You pick up ideas and habits from the people you are exposed to, and you get to choose who those people are. Your example is a powerful motivator – you don’t need to say anything. Just be the awesome person that you are, and let others follow your lead.

Maybe you have watched a video here, and started to implement what you learned, even though we have never met in person. Maybe a boss or a mentor taught you a better way to do something, and you added that to your personal experience. Maybe your child softened you or your mother taught you how to handle a situation with a sibling. We are constantly learning from others, even when we don’t realize it.

Do you see how you have changed and evolved over your lifetime? Did you change because someone gave you an ultimatum and told you that you had to change, or did you change by watching what others were doing or seeking out information on your own? That’s how leading by example works. So, when you have someone in your life that isn’t living their best life, telling them to change isn’t going to help them to do so. Setting a good example with your actions can inspire others to change on their own.

I believe in you. You can absolutely help the world to change by modeling the change you want to see. I would love to read your comments below. Share your ah-ha moments and breakthroughs. I love seeing the change that this community is bringing into the world! We are all learning from one another. If you haven’t subscribed, please do that, so you don’t miss out on a single episode! Thank you for being a changemaker. I love you. And I’ll see you real soon.

Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,

2 replies
  1. Kathy Lacroix
    Kathy Lacroix says:

    Thanks for sharing your storiy its very encouraging .
    Im 52 and still learning new things about myself i never knew i fall down many times and got back up but this time i fell really hard and im still trying to get up i feel as i dont know what or how to navigate this one im searching for help i feel like im going to burst my emotions are all ove the place im dealing with alot of shame hopelessness disappointments lost let down i feel dysregulated so thats why im here i want to be a better me healthier also an example to my kids and grandkids and to many others to follow but im not in a good place right now help

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