What To Do When Someone Keeps Using Your Ideas Without Giving You Credit
Hi, and welcome back—it’s great to have you here! As always, I love reading your comments, questions, and breakthroughs, and recently, I came across a comment that I can definitely relate to: “I’m new in the network marketing profession, and my sponsor, who is two years ahead of me, is also new to the business, and I feel like she’s using my ideas without giving me credit.”
Thank you for that comment. I feel like so many of us can relate to this, so let’s just make it into a general question:
What do you do when you feel like someone’s using your content without giving you credit?
First of all, let’s be realistic. There are only so many ways to deliver the same message. In my line of work, there are only so many ways to tell people to stay motivated, be inspired, be transformed…so, of course others are going to be sharing the same words that I share. But it’s important to understand that nobody can deliver it the way you do. If 100 people tell you the same thing, you will hear it 100 different ways, and some will connect with you, while others will not.
Honestly, when people find my content so effective that they choose to use it for themselves, I take it as a compliment. If others want to share my words, even if they don’t give me credit, it means I have done something really well. I don’t need the credit. I don’t need the validation. Take a look at your own situation, and ask yourself, “Do I need to be given credit or validation?” You might be surprised at what comes up for you.
So, let’s look at some ways to handle this, because when it comes right down to it, feeling like someone is using your ideas without giving you credit may feel disrespectful. It may feel triggering. Why do you think that is happening? Is it coming from a place of fear? A place of not feeling acknowledged? You need to first understand why it’s bothering you before you can correct it. Here are some tips for moving through this…
#1 – Talk to the other person.
Now, I know this is going to feel uncomfortable, but some of the most difficult conversations lead to the most clarity, making the relationship stronger and healthier in the long haul. When having this conversation, it’s important to leave the other person’s dignity intact. If you make them feel like they are wrong, it will only put them on the defensive, which will not solve anything. There doesn’t need to be a “right” person and a “wrong” person – you can have two people who are on two different paths, and that is completely OK. After having the conversation, we move onto the next step…
#2 – Decide if the partnership is something you want to continue.
You get to decide if this partnership, friendship, or relationship is something you want to continue. There may be a few different answers to this, with the first being, “Yes, I want to be in it. Let’s make it work.” The second answer might be, “Yes, I want to be in it, but we need to make some adjustments.” What a great opportunity to evaluate what parts of the partnership aren’t working, and make changes to fix those things. And if they can’t be fixed…
#3 Complete the relationship.
Yes, I said, “complete” the relationship. It’s not an ending, because both of you will continue on your own paths. It’s not a break up, because neither of you are broken – you are both whole and complete. Just because this relationship is no longer serving you is no reason to feel defeated. It is, however, an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s a great time to evaluate what old wounds are being triggered in you. It’s a chance to see what kinds of expectations were not met, and decide if your expectations were realistic in the first place.
This is a great opportunity to heal old wounds. It’s a perfect time to figure out why you were triggered by someone using your ideas without crediting you. Why are you hurt, disappointed, or angry? Why do you feel like you’re being dismissed? I would ask you to dig in on this and really figure out where this is coming from. When have you felt like this in the past? What old experience is making you feel that this person is hurting you? It most often has nothing to do with the other person, because they don’t know what your unhealed wounds are. They aren’t trying to cause you to feel this way. You need to heal your old wounds to move forward powerfully, and with strength.
You need to decide what’s worth fighting for, and what can be left behind. Figure out where you can grow and make the changes inside that will keep this from ever happening again. And if it does happen, will you have the tools to respond differently next time? Decide if this partnership, friendship, or intimate relationship is worth saving. You will feel very differently when you are coming from a healed place than when you feel wounded.
Remember, this is not a monologue. This is a relationship. A relay between you and me, and between you and the other members of our family. I love reading your comments and questions. I love the beautiful tribe of like-minded community members we have here. So, please share your ah-ha moments, your #BOL (breakthroughs out loud), and your insights. Tell me how you are going to move forward into the healed version of yourself. I truly believe in you, and I love you. I’ll see you soon.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,