Top 3 Tips for Facing Loneliness

Hi there! In this space, we share a lot of tools to help you thrive in your business, and this week’s topic is no exception, but it might feel a little more personal. I’m going to talk to you about feeling lonely vs. dealing with the space of being alone, because loneliness and being alone are not the same thing. I’m going to share my Top 3 Tips for Facing Loneliness that will help you to connect in beautiful ways when you might be feeling disconnected.

Look, we’ve all been dealt a curve ball over the last few years, and we’ve had to learn to adjust the way we work, play and interact with others, and none of us were really prepared to do that. It makes sense that many people feel lonely. It was just thrown at us, and we had to figure it out. Though things have shifted in recent months in most parts of the world, there are still lots of you who struggle with feelings of isolation, and I want to help you to feel more connected and loved than ever before. But it starts with you. You need to be willing to take action, not wait for someone else to reach out to you. We need to stop looking at the pandemic as an excuse for feeling bad, and use it as an opportunity to make some positive shifts in the way we strive for connection with others.

So let’s jump in, and take a look at my Top 3 Tips for Facing Loneliness, so you can get this ship back on course in no time at all. And right away, I want you to recognize that this is a community – a place where you can connect with people who are learning and growing. That’s not even one of my 3 tips – that was a bonus! We are a community, and I want you to know that in this space, you are loved, connected and valued.

Tip #1: Self-Growth and Self Love

Use this time as an opportunity to just BE with yourself, and listen to what your mind, body and soul are asking you to do. What areas of your life can you focus on that need a little love? Maybe you could try out some healthier habits or find a podcast that teaches you something new. Is there a new hobby or skill you’ve always wanted to try? When we get quiet and listen, we can discover things about ourselves that we may never notice while we are always surrounded by people and noise. Using alone time to honor your needs is a powerful thing.

Tip #2: Find New Possibilities for Connection

During the pandemic, people got very resourceful. We started using Zoom for meetings and seminars, and some of us also used it for personal connection. I hosted a Zoom call with my family, and they loved it! We weren’t able to visit and see each other in real time – it opened the door to possibility, because we found a new way to connect that we can use whenever face-to-face interaction isn’t possible.

I also reached out to people by sending videos, because it was more personal than sending a text or leaving a voicemail. My loved ones thought this was a great way to connect, and appreciated that I took the time to reach out in a personal way. I called people on the phone on Sundays and had real conversations – I would invite you to do this. Busy-ness has gotten in the way of connection for too many years. We need to show our love for one another every chance we get!

Tip #3: Remember that You Are Not Alone (YANA)

We’ve talked about this in the context of how we face similar challenges in our businesses, but it applies to loneliness as well. This was an unprecedented event in modern history – the world stopped, and everyone was blindsided by suddenly being thrown into isolation. EVERYONE. So while you were feeling alone, so was everyone else, which is important to remember. It’s a lot easier to handle a situation when you remind yourself that you really are not alone. We went through the pandemic “individually” together, which is more than a little weird. This is one thing that we can hold close to our hearts – knowing that we truly are not alone.

Don’t forget about how others are feeling, either. Do you have a single friend or elderly neighbor who may not have someone who checks in with them? Be that person! The 30 minutes you take to chat with the neighbor lady, whether via phone or standing out in the yard, might just be the difference between another lonely day and a fantastic day for her. And when we share our light with others, it is always reflected back onto us tenfold!

It’s important to remember to look for the gift – even though it may be wrapped in sand paper. My gift during the pandemic was getting engaged. I looked at the gift, not the sandpaper, and I invite you to do the same. What gifts did you receive? If you look hard enough, you will see them – peel off the rough sandpaper and find the hidden treasure underneath. I promise that you will find gifts if you are willing to look for them.

As always, I invite you to connect with me through your comments, ah-ha moments, and BOL (breakthrough out loud) experiences. What ideas do you have for connecting that may not have been mentioned here? I love to read your comments and hear about what you have taken away from this space and how you are using it in your life. This is your community and we are all cheering for you and one another! I love you and I believe in you. You are not alone.

Your Sister in Love and Connection,

42 replies
  1. Adu Ayomiotan
    Adu Ayomiotan says:

    Thank you very much ma’am I’ve really learnt a lot from your videos and I’m still learning. Your videos and it has helped my healing process a lot although I still feel really lonely and i feel like I’m not doing enough although I’ve not figured out what I’m not doing right but i promised myself to find ways of healing.

    Reply
    • Kaye P Brooks
      Kaye P Brooks says:

      Adu, I must let you know.. You truly are not alone.#YANA. I feel the same way and at times, question my ability and greatness. Keep moving. Sit through the loneliness then keep moving. Trust the process.

      Reply
  2. Sherri A. Beasley
    Sherri A. Beasley says:

    Thank you for that I love this episode it definitely resonated with me because I do live alone I did feel isolated during the pandemic but God was with me and my church family pray for me, Because I had just moved to a new community so I didn’t know anyone I’m so grateful that I made it through to see you today

    Reply
  3. Natalie Smith
    Natalie Smith says:

    This reminded me of why I started sending videos to family and friends as well. It really does help with the connection especially for me because most of my family and friends are all in different states. Having technology is a wonderful thing to help us all stay connected when we are feeling alone .

    Reply
  4. Kaye P Brooks
    Kaye P Brooks says:

    Lisa, I so love and appreciate you. You seem to say the right things to me at the much needed and right time. I loved this session so much because I feel so alone at time. In my creative thiughts, ;humongous dreams, desires. , etc. I know I’m a different breed and I’m finally. Okay with that but it’s linely when no one else gets you. I loved your tips. I am praying all goes well with the Bahamas trip because that woul be a perfect time to share how much I appreciate you and are proud of you. I have been in your corner, way before the Secret. Thank you for holding on, being consistent and getting up every time you slipped. Looking forward to telling you that face to face. Yes. Today’s session was awesome and powerful, just like you. Keep on keeping on. And now with a partner…. You’re about to be even more unstoppable!!! Love you.

    Reply
  5. Anie Gombos
    Anie Gombos says:

    I like to make the difference between solitude and being alone. Amazingly described Lisa. My experience of you an amazing, strong, aware, loving woman. I would divide like loneliness comes from lack of needs and fear and being alone comes from some blocks that do not allow to create deep relationships. I experienced both when my parents abandoned me at the age of one and I ended up at a house where I was tolerated. Not having known the feeling of being loved until adulthood these 2 were both in my life. Then after so many years investing in myself and knowing myself more I started to feel the differences. I rarely feel loneliness, I do feel, however alone. And if it is too much the line is tiny to feel loneliness. There is needed a great balance and gratitude.

    Reply
  6. Bongiwe
    Bongiwe says:

    Thank you Lisa for motivating me . Your videos and information mean a lot to me . I started with your book ‘ No matter what ‘ since then I never looked back . You’re an inspiration to me , so many things have changed in my life , when you talk about self care / self love , that’s what I’m focusing on now and I’m grateful and thankful for having someone who inspires and motivates me .like you do . You’re a star Lisa !!!I

    Reply
  7. Tunay
    Tunay says:

    Thank you for sharing all of these beautiful tips with us.ı like to listen birds singing and walking in forest, looking sky and reading when ı feel lonely

    Reply
    • Latoya D. Buchanan
      Latoya D. Buchanan says:

      Tunay,
      I just envisioned your beautiful description of birds singing, walking through the forest while looking at the sky and I could smell pine, feel a soft breeze with the most perfect weather and, when I closed my
      eyes, the sound of the singing birds made me smile. I had no thoughts, no stress in that perfect place. Are you an author?? Thank you for your comment! It just really blessed me!

      Reply
  8. Claudia
    Claudia says:

    I would like to add that people should have more positive conversations. It’s always a blessing to see different positive perspectives. It improves and changes the way you think and look at things. It’s an immediate motivation and inspiration.

    Reply
  9. Delisa
    Delisa says:

    I’m glad I watched the video. These past 3 yrs have been rough, with the isolation, this mess with Covid Even before this , I was a little anti social, I isolated . So when this happen and I had no choice but to sit with self. Kept telling myself I was gonna work on me , whomever “me” was , still at 58, trying to figure it out. And it’s ok, it’s been a journey, but I stay faithful, in prayer , for guidance . With this whole Covid , it’s been hard to try and re emerge , I find myself just going to work , and going right home . Never accepting invites . But after watching this video , I’m going try and start taking baby steps , allow some people in…..I want my blessing in the sandpaper , again , I lost my husband to cancer , best thing that ever happened to me .I want to bring my laughter and smile back. I’m not hopeless ,, although sometimes it feels that way I’m very hopeful. I believe my God has my best intentions . I know it’s all me …..and me gonna try and start taking baby steps …….thank you Lisa for sharing the video…..because I’ve had been feeling lonely, watching this now knowing I don’t have to be

    Reply
  10. Marcia
    Marcia says:

    Thanks a million for a hose words of comfort. I am a bench TV watcher, I struggle with trusting people, I had much hurt, the hurting has set me in a watch mode and I cans deal with spending time to see what going to happen, so I stay by myself. TV is a good comforting food for now. Read the Bible now and then, pray now and then, isolated myself from church a bit. It is lonely however when I had people in my life it was the same. Only when someone wants a favor they would call so I’m okay. It’s good to be alone most of the time, when I want to be around people I go out but most of my time I am home. Job hunting now, so if I don’t have to go out I home.
    Just to share

    Reply
  11. Jackie Mickens
    Jackie Mickens says:

    I appreciate the message. I’m reaching out because I believe I may need a tribe, though I’m a mother of six grown folks, I have several grandchildren and a small business. One would think I have a tribe but I’m sure someone can relate to why I feel I don’t. There are so many scams that I would have hesitated or just not have reached out, but I’m reaching out because on a level the message touched something in me and Ms. Lisa is a very reputable person.

    Reply
    • Latoya D. Buchanan
      Latoya D. Buchanan says:

      Jackie,

      I have grown to have this love and respect for Lisa and her unapologetic, authenticity. I read your comment, and you are not alone my sister. Much love, peace and joy to you!

      Reply
  12. Sheila
    Sheila says:

    Hello Lisa. Thank you for blessing me with your message. “Look for the Gift not the sandpaper”. So many times we focus on the hard times but I learned we have to experience the sandpaper to appreciate the gift. My sandpaper was my 1st marriage but now I’m married for 22 years to my gift from God. Life’s lessons help us to be stronger and better. To live our purpose!

    Reply
  13. Latoya D. Buchanan
    Latoya D. Buchanan says:

    Thank you so much Lisa! My breakthrough moment was taking the time to see the areas of self growth since the pandemic. I work in healthcare, so I relocated to another state to assist with the COVID crisis. During this time of working on a healthcare business launch, I needed someone to help me care for my children in my home. This person introduced me to a building to move my primary care business into that was being leased by her family, and happened to be in my home state! This has just been one of the many wonderful moments I have been grateful to experience during this challenging time. I also started speaking daily affirmations, which led me to the book, “The Sescret”, that led me to you! I took your “Speaking Into Sales Summit” and signed up for “Speak and Write to Make Millions”!!! My life is being transformed before my very eyes, thanks to the pandemic. I have found my tribe And I thank you for the choice to be authentically you! It encourages me to do the same! My life is forever changed!

    Reply
  14. Ann
    Ann says:

    Thank you for this video Lisa, I appreciate it. When I think about the events that kept us separated, I looked to it as an opportunity. I turned within to stop and take a good look at myself. I finalized a divorce, I moved — and in that movement, I was transported even deeper into my spiritual studies. I desired to get in tune with my soul, and to sever my habit of living in a dualistic way–it became very real to me that, this is the only life I have as me, and IF I do not do me, I won’t be done as Michael Beckwith says. During this time, our family turned to Zoom for connection, but eventually not many remained interested. I also began a group chat for my family during this time, but not everyone was as interested as I and some find it aggravating. Some of the outcomes have been temporarily discouraged but I have chosen to seek portals of like-minded individuals online to share with and to have counsel with. I have yet to break bread with anyone since the genesis of this event, but I remain hopeful for that and for renewing companionship in my life — I desire to build a co-creative partnership with someone and I trust God that this will manifest — in the meantime, I continue to work on myself to make sure I am radiating good and whole vibrations as to attract in life. SO I am thankful for all of this time, I know that GOD does not an error nor is the author of confusion. I keep my heart focused on love, expansion, and growth and encourage anyone else to do the same by looking at life thru the lens of — what can I do to serve others and how does God desire me to BE? Rooting for everyone to continue living in your abundance, joy and peace. Much love to all.

    Reply
  15. Franchelle Caesar
    Franchelle Caesar says:

    My gift wrapped in sandpaper was a divorce in April 2021. You know my story and before the divorce came about, I shared my fears of not being cherished or accepted as the woman I was “becoming”. By God’s grace, I was uprooted from that relationship and now I’m opening my heart to love again. It’s taken a year of intensive coaching and I feel so appreciative of the gift I’ve gotten. Freedom. A new and more aligned career, family, and love. Wooooo I can’t thank you enough for being my first coach and showing me what was possible!

    Reply
  16. Ann Marie Mullarkey
    Ann Marie Mullarkey says:

    Hi. I joined a group called Lasagna Love. Its an organization where people volunteer to make lasagna for others in need. It started during the pandemic but it continued and grew significantly. My husband and I make lasagna weekly for people in our community that are lonely, in need, managing an illness or for whatever reason. It gives my husband and I an opportunity to do something together and helping others. I have to say, I get so much more out of it then I give.

    Reply
  17. Alyssa Lindemeier
    Alyssa Lindemeier says:

    The gift wrapped in sandpaper really resonated with me this morning. Listening to you speak is always so reassuring and calming, thank you so much for all that you do, Lisa! I hope for the opportunity to work with you and be your friend! ♥️

    Reply
  18. Cynthia
    Cynthia says:

    I really enjoyed this video, Lisa. I am somewhat of an introvert so feeling lonely isn’t new to me. However, my goal is to socialize more and to work on my bucket list.
    Peace and blessings to you!

    Reply
  19. Angela
    Angela says:

    Thank You, Lisa. I live alone and during the pandemic I went for several weeks without being touched-at all. I never knew how important human touch is to our survival. I shared this with a co-worker who insisted on giving me a big hug during all the fear and uncertainty. I will always love her for taking a risk and helping me to heal.

    Reply
  20. Assata
    Assata says:

    Hey Sister, this was my first time tuning in. Loved your spirit. I was a middle child so being with myself has never really been an issue because I was used to a sense of aloneness but also being whole. But, you are right, the pandenmic left me dealing for the first time with truly feeling alone. Thank you for sharing these tips because I am transitioning at my age, to creating a new career for myself and I need to understand this as a part of my self-growth and an aspect of self care. Remembering to be creative with connecting is a great idea because there are many others people and ways to do that.
    So thank you, ashe, and have a blessed day!

    Reply
  21. Trenda
    Trenda says:

    Congratulations ❤️
    So, happy for you! I resonate for sure, on the way everything and everyone has changed. I have always felt alone, but my faith in God I always knew I am not alone at all! I’m always trying to pull others in and reciprocating does not exist. So, I have accepted the self-care attitude is a must! I have always put others first and nothing left for me was fine. But, now I have decided to put into me and not feel bad about it! Thank you for all you do ❤️

    Reply
  22. Steven Schargel
    Steven Schargel says:

    HAVE YOU ALSO NOTICED?

    Since the pandemic and all the current upheavals in the world, when I stop whatever I am doing and kick back and take even a brief “inventory” of what I am feeling and thinking, in obvious contrast to the noise and distractions, I experience more ease in me. Maybe its like how much better a glass of water is when I am thirsty. So there are some possible added benefits for all of us to be had in these stormy times.

    Reply
  23. Deborah Williams
    Deborah Williams says:

    Lisa yes I can relate.
    Three things I did during the pandemic to help with feeling lonely was:
    1. worked on developing a closer relationship with God. I lost 2 sisters and other family members during this time so it was important for me to really connect with God and try to get an understanding of all that was going on, I also got to learn a lot about myself.
    2. Like you Zoom became my friend. Me and my sisters would Zoom and play games and just chat and check on each other.
    3. I also did hip hop cardio on Zoom with a class I was in so that allowed me to still get a work out in instead of just sitting around the house.

    Reply
  24. Lisa
    Lisa says:

    Thank you, Lisa, for addressing this topic. I’ve felt incredibly lonely for the past two years, and I’m working on both sitting with it and taking action. In the past four years I left a marriage, moved to a different city, started a new job and then left it, and then my dad and brother both died six months apart in 2021. I’m still grieving, I think. I’ve started eating out by myself and have been to two arena concerts by myself- just to exercise courage and not wait for others to live my life. I’ve also joined a few meetup groups for writing and outdoor activities. Anyway, I’m trying to both strengthen myself and to connect to others. Working from home can feel isolating, and old friends often seem busy with their spouses and families. It’s a struggle sometimes, but there is also hope. Anyway. It was nice to see this addressed. Thank you. Wishing peace to everyone.✌

    Reply
  25. Gwendolyn Myers
    Gwendolyn Myers says:

    Hi Lisa, thank you for all you do to motivate and inspire us. During the time of isolation, Zoom became my friend. I would organize family gatherings. This was awesome since we are all over the place. My women’s ministry even organized different events in order to stay in touch and connect such as a virtual tea, games, parking lot movie night, and they were all a big hit. Thank you for clarifying the difference between being alone and loneliness.

    Reply
  26. Mwijarubi Talai
    Mwijarubi Talai says:

    Thank you lissa,

    Currently looking for away out of a broken relationship, Its hard to move on because I still love her thank you again. Mwijarubi from Tanzania

    Reply
  27. Muriel
    Muriel says:

    Thank you Lisa for these tips and your videos. It helps put things in perspective and teach us how to be creative at this time on the planet. I am opening my heart too and find new ways of connecting with people. Thank you for believing in us always. Much love

    Reply
  28. Victoria Woods
    Victoria Woods says:

    Lisa,
    Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
    This so resonates with me and is yet another confirmation. The tips are the reminders I needed. I truly learned in the shutdown, I had outgrown many and it took much Fasting and Prayer to accept and let G as I seek GOD for New Divine Connections! You are a Blessing #FurtherInspired

    Reply
  29. sylvia Carla
    sylvia Carla says:

    Lisa Lisa Lisa, you made my Monday morning. I have been following you for about 6 years now. I love your story, as sad as it was to hear and read, however the STREGNTH you shared of what you chose to do to move up and support your son, and become the dynamic woman you are today.
    CONGRATULATIONS, by the way. I was praying that you would find a wonderful man who could be your partner in life as this is now your time to be happy.
    I could go on, but hopefully, we can connect sometime soon. As a woman who raised 3 baby girls, now amazing successful women, I found my life to be lonely and suffered many lonely times. Yes the pandemic did not help me, but I too had found my own ways to heal and build my strength to grow, and build my brand, of which is my current journey. What you shared today just reinforced to me that I am the right path, and lonliness is different, and I am dealing with this now. I came to the realization that I needed to speak with a professional therapist, and feel incredible. This was necessary for me to push through and realize it wasn’t just me, it was past generational dysfunctions and negative people that I was caught being around daily that was bringing me down. Everyday, I am feeling happier and stronger. Thank you for the great video, and I will continue to follow and hear your words of wisdom. Sending you much love, and many blessings

    Reply
  30. Tamika Roberts
    Tamika Roberts says:

    Thank you for this Lisa! I love how you broke this down. The pandemic was definitely a “lonely” and “a lone” time. I really like #2, finding new possibilities to connect. Never thought of it that way. Today I just created a new way for my family to connect. Hoping this is the start to even more creative ways to connect with others.

    Reply
  31. Ronke Sanni
    Ronke Sanni says:

    Thank you Lisa for making this connection between loneliness and alone. My BOL is being alone is important for my SELF GROWTH AND SELF LOVE. This is priceless for many women and ladies in the journey of life. Many of us give and give and give to our husbands, children, job, businesses, and others but have little or no time to give back to ourselves, that me time whether it is 1 day,,1 week, or i month.
    During the pandemic, as a nurse, praying with my patients and reminding them and myself of the love of God were some of the ways I was able to deal with the stress of the job and help my patients deal with the isolation and loneliness
    Thank you, Lisa. I am blessed by your inspirational and transformational messages
    God bless

    Reply
  32. JOB POOE
    JOB POOE says:

    HI THE QUUEN OF TRANSFORMING AND MOTIVATING THE MASSES,
    THE EXPERIENCE I HAD DURING COVID SEASON IS THAT I NEARLY GOT INTO DEPRESSION DUE TO NEGATIVE NEWS THAT I WATCHED ON TV EVERY NOW AND THEN. FURTHERMORE, MY PHONE WAS BOMBARDED WITH SCARY MESSAGES ABOUT COVID THAT WERE CIRCULATING. THEN AS A SOLUTION FOR MY WELL-BEING I STOPPED READING OR WATCHING ANYTHING THAT WAS NEGATIVE AND STARTED DIGGING FOR MOTIVATIONAL & INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND SHARED THEM WITH MY CONTACTS .AND THE RESULTS WERE LIKE THERAPY TO ME.ESPECIALLY WHEN MY FRIENDS THANKED ME FOR BEING A BREATH OF FRESH TO THEM DURING THAT DIFFICULT TIME.
    THANK YOU MY SISTER IN TRANSFORMATION.

    Reply
  33. Maria
    Maria says:

    I constantly struggle with fighting off loneliness but always seek to come up with solutions. Like many of us I have had horrific childhood trauma thus creating feelings of unworthiness and self doubt. Not ever having had parental guidance I chose to self educate myself on everything. This has served me well in getting myself out of depression and loneliness. Some things that I do to combat this is cooking for the elderly in my neighborhood, helping at the homeless shelter, lending an ear to a friend going through a difficult time, creating a non profit sports program for individuals with developmental delays and collecting food for the local pantry. Even with the all the activities I still struggle with lovability of self. Have done lots of work but still need more help, especially in the deserving of dept.

    During the pandemic, I finally divorce the abusive husband, got a therapy certificate, gained a spiritual teacher, got over fear if dogs by getting one, made new and better friends. I mostly got creative to escape the abuse.

    Work in progress……

    Reply
  34. Roy Williams
    Roy Williams says:

    Greetings Fam! I am so excited to know that someone is listening to the universe and I know that this message was for me. I have been investing in myself, and Owning My Brilliance, with one of your speakers Kevin Goins. Because he took a chance on himself and traveled to hear you speak, I am here today. Thank you for being a conduit for the masses your reach is reaching thousands and millions. I too with your techniques and coaching will give. It started with me standing up and getting clear on what I wanted to become and how I wanted to affect the lives of people like me. I have learned that no matter how much we give to others there are times that I need to give to myself to continue to be a blessing. I have changed my energy to match those that are moving and grooving to purpose. Thank you for making it feel like home when you speak; knowing I am not alone.

    Your Brother in Prosperity,

    Roy Williams

    Reply

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