3 Tips for Putting Yourself First
You know one of my favorite things to do is to create content based on your comments and answer questions from our amazing tribe of gladiators, unicorns and change agents.
Recently, I came across this delicious question from one of our beautiful sisters:
“Lisa, you helped me realize that my cup needs to be full in order to have an amazing relationship with others. Can you give me some insight on exactly how to fill my own cup?”
Now, this is one of my favorite topics and an area I constantly have to focus on. Just when I think I have mastered it, I look up and need to turn around and focus on it again. Because life happens, right?
I know firsthand that when you move from putting yourself LAST in line to FIRST in line, you become in sync with yourself and can serve others from your overflow.
So, for this week’s blog, I’m sharing my top 3 tips to put yourself first and fill your own cup!
#1 — Center Yourself into Stillness
That may be easier said than done, but it is so worth it. When you center yourself in stillness, you can start to fall into a place of gratitude. A place to be grateful for the opportunity to be in demand, to have a full schedule, and to be someone that others can come to instead of being in a place of “I gotta do this and do that.”
Now. I know if you are a mover and shaker and a doer like I am, this can feel like it’s not productive. But the reality is when you get into movement, you want to make sure you’re moving from a place of groundedness. Most importantly, you’re moving from a place of gratitude because gratitude gives you energy. And when you’re serving everyone else, energy is what you need.
Gratitude is the soil for all good things.
#2 – Give Yourself Permission to Fill your Own Tank
Repeat these words. “I give myself permission to fill my own tank first.” Say it again. “I give myself permission to fill my own tank.”
Remember, self-care is your responsibility. Self-care is not selfish. So what does filling your tank mean? What does it look like to you? Create a list and then give yourself permission to do one, two, maybe even three things a day just for you. For me, it is taking a bath with bubbles and a cup of tea. A conversation with my son who brings me joy. What are those things for you? Is it a walk? Is it some music? Quiet time? Is it reading a book? Is it a long bath? Is it working out? Whatever those things are, make a short list and then give yourself permission to do them.
#3 – Maintain Healthy Boundaries
When I say boundaries, the first thing people usually think of is to tell people to stop or push people away. But that is not the case. It is recognizing there is power in saying “No” and a “No” can be a dignified answer. No can be a “Not right now” or “My plate is currently full” or a “That doesn’t work for me.” As long as a “No” maintains your dignity and maintains someone else’s dignity, is a healthy “No.”
When you set boundaries, all of a sudden you’re opening up space for yourself because when you say “No” to something, you’re saying “Yes” to something else. When you say “No” to going out in the evening because you’re tired, you’re actually saying “Yes” to getting more rest.
When you say “No” to being able to handle someone else’s problem or their challenge, you’re saying “Yes” to spending more time for what you need.
Saying “No” has always been something that I’ve had to work on. In recent years I’ve gotten much, much better at it because I recognize that when I say “No,” I have more space for other things that I need to do. Recently, I had a challenge in my life where a family member got really sick. And I had to say “No” a lot. I mean, a lot. “No” to almost everything that wasn’t focused on my dear family member getting better. And I thought in my head, everything was going to fall apart because I said “No” to so many things. What happened was the people around me rose up to the occasion. They managed exactly what needed to be managed. And I had the freedom of mind space to just pray, have faith and sit at the hospital bedside with my family.
Maintaining healthy boundaries can really be the first step for you to recognize that other people want to rise up to the occasion FOR YOU. Boundaries give you space for healing, looking at your own life, pressing reset, and creating space to reflect.
Now I could give you a list of 10 tips, but none of the other seven matter until you started with these three. So to sum it up: Number one, center yourself in stillness and fall into a state of gratitude for your calling to serve others. Number two, give yourself permission to fill your own tank and create a list of ways to do that for yourself. And three, be very comfortable with maintaining healthy boundaries, and recognize that your “No” to one thing is “Yes” to something else that you need right now.
Remember, this show is not a monologue. It’s a dialogue and I want to hear from you. So please comment below and let me know your AHA moment. Was this episode a good reminder of something you already knew? What are you going to take action on today?
I love, love, love reading your comments and questions and who knows…your question may end up being the topic of a future episode! Be sure to use the hashtag #LISAANSWERS.
Remember, this is your home. We are your tribe. And every time that I say I love you and I believe in you, it’s because I truly do.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,