Why Mirror Work Will Change Your Life

One of the questions I get asked a lot is, “Lisa, how do I move forward and let go of the things holding me back?”

I think this was one of my own biggest challenges in life—to cut the chains that were shackled to blame, shame, guilt and regrets from the past.

You see, 25 years ago, I had gotten into a relationship that became abusive mentally, verbally and physically. I was physically able to get myself and Jelani to safety, but man… the guilt, shame and anger at myself was completely holding me hostage.

I kept beating myself up thinking, “Lisa it was bad enough you put yourself in danger, but OMG, you put your three-year-old son in danger.”  I knew in order to move forward powerfully, I COULD NOT continue to hold myself hostage to old actions and old experiences. I knew I could not create anything new in my future while I was still playing the blame game.

So…I began to do something super important that I recommend to every single one of my students when we go deep. I teach them the importance of Mirror Work.

Why Mirror Work?

Mirror Work is key because it’s the only time you can really spend with yourself and be confronted with who you really are. I needed to give myself permission to be with me in a healthy way.

Now I’m not talking about spending time in front of a mirror while you are brushing your teeth or combing your hair or putting on makeup. There is a specific way to go about Mirror Work that sets the foundation for all your other growth. Because if you can show up powerfully and whole FOR yourself, you can show up powerfully and whole IN THE WORLD.

Effective Mirror Work

I recommend that you get in front of a mirror and you complete these sentences that will bring about HEALING, RELEASE and CELEBRATION. This is exactly what I did to turn my crawl back into a walk…and my walk back into a run…and my run into a SOAR!

I want you to look at yourself as if you were your best friend. We tend to look at our friends with more compassion, grace, ease and love. When we look at ourselves, we tend to look with judgement and ridicule.

So, start by saying your name, and then come up with 7 different endings for the following sentences:

  1. ______, I’m proud of you that…

Example:  Lisa, I’m proud of you that you got out of bed today. Lisa, I’m proud that you got the courage to get in front of the mirror again. Lisa, I’m proud of you that you got out of that unhealthy relationship.

  1. ______, I forgive you for…

Example: Lisa, I forgive you for lowering the bar. Lisa, I forgive you for allowing loneliness to compromise your standards. 

  1. ______, I commit to you today that 

Example: Lisa, I commit to you that today I will put myself ahead of everyone else. Lisa, I commit to you today that your YES means YES and you will say NO when needed.

Remember—don’t edit and be honest with yourself as it is JUST YOU listening. 

Now, I did this Mirror Work for six months straight every morning, but I recommend you do it for 30 days and then consider continuing if it feels good.

Remember, this show is not just a monologue, it’s a dialogue. It’s a rich, delicious, courageous conversation between a tribe of gladiators, change agents and unicorns. I love reading your comments and seeing your engagement with each other and me.

So, what was your big #BOL (breakthrough out loud) from this episode? What did you need to hear? And more importantly, what are you willing to do as a result of this episode?  I would really love for you to send me a picture of you standing next to the mirror…and I’ll know what it means.

This is your home, and we are your tribe. And I am your sister in prosperity and possibility. And when I say I love you and believe in you each week, it is NOT because I lack other words. It’s because I truly do!

43 replies
  1. Darshanelle Coleman-Boyer
    Darshanelle Coleman-Boyer says:

    Thank you so much for this confirmation. I have done mirror work before and it’s so powerful! While talking to God yesterday he showed me what to do after I get my life coach certification and offering mirror work release is one of the things he showed me because I did it before and I wanted to show every other young girl or woman the power in it also! Thank you for this I now know I’m on the right track. Blessings to you queen!

    Reply
    • Victoria maeda WAS MULTI FOLD: that mirror work is the foundation for my other growth. Also think of yourself as talking to your best friend( we have more compassion for a friend than we do for ourselves and c
      Victoria maeda WAS MULTI FOLD: that mirror work is the foundation for my other growth. Also think of yourself as talking to your best friend( we have more compassion for a friend than we do for ourselves and c says:

      My bol was multifaceted;
      •you can’t hold yourself hostage to things of your past (and move forward).
      •mirror work is the foundation for other learning, other growth .
      •think that you’re talking to a friend; we have more compassion for our friend than ourselves; there’s no stigma for us on a friend.
      Thanks! This is great!
      Victoria, I COMMIT to doing this for for YOU! For your FUTURE!!!

      Reply
  2. Melissa K. Crossley
    Melissa K. Crossley says:

    Hi Lisa,

    I hope all is well and you are safe. Sending positive love and light your way during these troubling time. Thank you for keeping me updated and aware that the path of following my dreams is allowed. I still struggle in not caring too much about others that drain my spirit and look at me with shame and guilt. Hence, those individuals are the people that birth me. I am struggle with the morals and values of respecting my parents and still sticking up for my beliefs and remaining in encourage because whenever I finally get to a good place, it’s get pushed back. But I am still very proud of myself. Even though I did not get the chance to return to graduate school, I still completed a year with a GPA of a 3.4, so at least I know in the near future when I am in a safe environment I can return back to school. I want to make a difference in my life you know. I want peace, love, consistency, and stability. Therefore, I will continue to put my best foot forward and not let anyone destroy my gifts and dreams. Thank you for reminding that it’s okay to dream.

    Sincerely and lots of love,

    Melissa K. Crossley

    Reply
  3. Wendy
    Wendy says:

    LISA thank you so much for sharing this with us. Your vulnerability makes it so easy to connect with you. I commit to doing this work and As we soar we will have you and this whole team of gladiators to thank for it! We truly are a tribe. Thank you!!!

    Reply
  4. Teria Robertson
    Teria Robertson says:

    Thank you this was so needed. Very powerful
    I think everyone should do this. I will commit to do this for thirty days and get back with you on it.

    Reply
    • Jay Troy
      Jay Troy says:

      Every morning when YOU wake up and every evening before YOU go to sleep look in the mirror into your eyes with a beautiful smile and tell yourself out loud “I LOVE YOU, I AM ENOUGH, I AM LOVE”.

      P.S. Make sure the mirror is spotless just like YOU!!!

      Reply
  5. Misty Haskins
    Misty Haskins says:

    Thank you, You are amazing. I used to tell myself & children to look in the mirror and say that I love you over and over gain until You have a breakthrough or washing of the negative feeling thats is going on at that moment, but I never completed it with so many support words behind I love you …. thanks again for add greatness to my life

    Reply
  6. Rita Bassey
    Rita Bassey says:

    Yana. I was abused mentally, physically, economically, socially and emotionally after 5days of my wedding to my Ex. I was going through it in silence until the day I asked myself “Rita, who are you? That was my turning point because I was able to redefined myself and I’m still defining me each day. Now, I’m helping people to discover who they truly are and have and can become. Yes, I do mirror work but I didn’t know what I was doing until I started following you. Thanks, Lisa

    Reply
  7. Cassandra Johnson
    Cassandra Johnson says:

    This was so powerful for me because it forced me to stop and really assess what’s holding me back and what I need to forgive myself for truly. We spend so much time beating ourselves up over past hurts. This exercise forced me to face it. Face all my judgment of myself. Face all the pressure I put on myself to live up to other people’s expectations. Thank you so much. I’m so grateful to be a new member of this awesome tribe.

    Reply
  8. niki vergara
    niki vergara says:

    Lisa, I love you. How much you are willing to give passion to others. I believe in you, and believe in myself to do great things. Thanks for being here.

    Reply
  9. Evelyn Wright
    Evelyn Wright says:

    Thank God! After listening to this program, I feel free to open up to the truth(s) in my life so that I can be even more ready to spread my wings! Hallelujah!

    Reply
  10. Tracy
    Tracy says:

    hi Lisa this is my first time watching one of your videos where I can watch some before in the past but actually listening to it gave an inspiration of a dissatisfaction of how to improve my life challenges and moving fourth have an open mind with this new thing called why mirror works I enjoyed listen to the video because it opened up my mind a little bit because for one I do look in the mirror everyday to brush my teeth doing my hair so why can’t I look in the mirror and forgive myself for a lot of things that am holding hostage of to move forth into graps on to real life experiences new experiences that’s going to move me forth to being a happier healthier person so I thank you for this thank you for reaching out.

    Reply
    • Ron Mack
      Ron Mack says:

      Thanks Greg. Women do not have a monopoly on PAIN. Love you Lisa. Read about the Mirror Work in your book Abundance Now. I will try it this time

      Reply
  11. Tracy King
    Tracy King says:

    Ms. Lisa, I needed this. All three resonates with me. But to choose one, I would say FORGIVING myself. I’ve held on to guilt, shame, blame, etc so tight, it never crossed my mind that I should forgive myself. I commit to looking Tracy in the eyes and genuinely forgive her.
    Thanks,
    Tracy

    Reply
  12. Patricia
    Patricia says:

    Lisa, this mirror work made my tears pour out. It felt more like I was empting/unloading all the things that have been keeping me in bondage.

    Reply
  13. Sherice Burkett
    Sherice Burkett says:

    Hello Lisa,

    Where do I begin?
    At first glance it seems easy. “Three steps I can do that”, I say to myself. Steps one and two are doable because I have been working on those, but that last one gave me pause. A commitment to myself, seven everyday, and for thirty days is something I have to try. This is where I begin! My #BOL.

    Thank you for the work you do,

    Sherice Burkett

    Reply
  14. Sonia
    Sonia says:

    Thank you Lisa! I’m doing this exercise since day 8 of 30 Days Possibility Diet. I never done before and it’s amazing how I realize that I have a lot of things hidden inside me! Today I feel more in peace with myself and I keep doing day by day. Now I have really conversations with my mirror! Love you!!

    Reply
  15. BELINDA SHAW
    BELINDA SHAW says:

    I AM SO GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR PUTTING YOU IN THE PATH OF MY LIFE YOU ARE TRULY GODSENT TO HURTING AND BATTERED AND WE OF LOW SELF WORTH, I WAS TROUBLED ON HOW TO LET GO AND MOVE FORWARD, I HAVE TO DO THE MIRROR WORK TO BE MOST HEALTHY BELINDA THAT I CAN BE I LOVE YOU WOMAN OF GOD THANK YOU FOR SPREADING GODS LOVE WITH US. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS IN JESUS SWEET AND GRACIOUS NAME. AMEN

    Reply
  16. Shari Linsley
    Shari Linsley says:

    The first day of mirror work was odd and uncomfortable. Now, I use it to make myself feel powerful, recommitting to my goals each day! There’s a fourth line you can add. “I love that you…”. It puts me on top of the world!

    Reply
  17. REBECKAH
    REBECKAH says:

    I have been doing mirror work throughout the past 20yrs.
    Lisa, almost 2 yrs ago my angels brought me to you via YouTube, during a rough abusive relationship that I was transitioning out of. You taught me how to forgive myself the way I had been doing my whole life for others.
    Today, doing mirror work from the video I feel confident, comforted, fearless, and excited about my future. ..connected to myself, to you, and to our tribe.
    The last part affected me most, “I am committed….” I love this & needed this so much right now.
    It’s TRUE how we treat our favorite people, and now learning as adults how to do the same for ourselves. Life changing indeed.
    Thank you♡
    ~Namaste

    Reply
  18. Nancy
    Nancy says:

    You are so empowering! I am thankful for receiving this message at this moment…
    My BOL was the number 1 “I’m proud that you got up today!!! Lately, but up until today the whole situation we’re living made me depressed… This whole mirror work that you promote is exhilarating. I have done mirror work before, but your approach is what I needed the most today! And, I’ Not Alone!!! This is my tribe, my other BOL, is to commit myself that Yes, means Yes! and, No means NO!!! That was a strike!!! Boundaries are the frame of our inner master piece… a lesson that I needed to learn and make it into practice Thank you and God Bless You for being so generous!

    Reply
  19. Janique Roebuck
    Janique Roebuck says:

    I literally was feeling down about a situation I cried to GOD. && maybe a 2 hours later I come check my email and normally I check and go on BUT GOD this time I open read everything and watched the video. This was so on time for me and I just thank GOD for sending this my way & thank you for all your doing and the encouraging words.GOD Bless you & I LOVE YOU

    Reply
  20. Vasilisa Taskayeva
    Vasilisa Taskayeva says:

    This resonated because its self work and positive reflections with yourself. Its allowing to forgive yourself in traumatic situations and move one. Its deeper than automated affirmations. Thank you for this video! ❤

    Reply
  21. Nomthandazo
    Nomthandazo says:

    Since I started following you Lisa my level of confidence has up #BOL the world will see you the way you see yourself, I’m so much learning from you. I wish I had followed you earlier. I Love you. I love you I love you.. All the way from your black sister in South Africa

    Reply
  22. Tiffany Smith
    Tiffany Smith says:

    I needed to hear this. I am beating myself up for things out of my control. I was a victim of a terrible childhood crime, and not knowing until too late, another not only covered it up, and did so by his abuse of powers. Homeless, lost faith of my 16 year old son. I was so busy trying to save my mother and sisters and show them how great they were, even though they hated me – the illegitimate child, I just didn’t realize narcissistic behaviors – for what they were – destructive and only they can heal themselves. Homeless, living day to day is a living hell – a nightmare. Starting today, I am going to do this. I’ve been praying for those responsible for adding false information to my records to be discovered and the damage to my son and my life to see justice.There is no force greater than Heaven’s and I know this will be made right very soon. No power is greater.
    Thank you Lisa. I am so glad someone cares about this world.
    Tiffany
    U.S. Air Force Honorably Discharged Veteran
    Base Education and Training Manager

    Reply
  23. Myrna Calderon
    Myrna Calderon says:

    Thank you. I needed to hear this again. I have difficulty making choices in my life. You have affirmed the importance of this activity in my life. I will do this for thirty days or as many days that it may be necessary.❤️

    Reply
  24. Rajagopal Ramaswamy
    Rajagopal Ramaswamy says:

    Reminds me of a book that I read,”How to heal your life” by Lious Hay. I think the basic foundational teaching in the mirror treatment work is to look deeply into your eyes with love and affection and say the following statement with the full force of your conviction, “I love and approve you exactly as you are and who you are “.
    This simple statement can do wonders!

    Reply
  25. Kirk Wellman
    Kirk Wellman says:

    Again you have my attention. When you first told your story about you and your young son, I was wishing it could be shown on the prison tv channel just to see what response you would generate. I worked in 5 prisons including one women’s prison. Your messages are so powerful and helpful they would generate response from the female prisoners, but I would hope male prisoners see the hurt and scars, then be able to let go and move to now. I occasionally would suggest the mirror exercise and forgiving yourself, which I know is very hard. I always try to plant a seed.

    Reply
  26. Bernice
    Bernice says:

    Thank You Lisa:
    I am so thankful for this episode. I have many guilts that I need to let go. It includes my physical, mental, emotional, health. This is new to me and I thank you for this more than I can ever say to you or anyone else at this time.
    This means I can get on the road to healing.

    Reply
  27. Rhoda
    Rhoda says:

    I’ve recently signed up for the Abundance Life Online program and have started the mirror work as a result. All my life I had never felt comfortable really looking at myself in the mirror and when I did, it was usually superficially. There were things about my face I hadn’t noticed until very late in my life, but at least I was seeing them. Doing the mirror work was helping me to finally look into my eyes and see myself more deeply, and now that I’ve watched this episode, I realize that I can look even more deeply, so I’m now looking forward to tomorrow morning’s work. Thanks for this and for being a part of my journey.

    Reply
  28. D
    D says:

    Thank you so much, how powerful. Every aspect of this teaching is relevant and WOW, very helpful. Life changing. POWERFUL.

    I appreciate you and thank you and team for your help.

    Kind regards

    Reply
  29. Cora
    Cora says:

    WOW!! #BTOL..
    We are definitely looking through the same mirror! I’ve been stuck for sooo long in past regrets and lacking self confidence, low self esteem, motivation and drive…just seeing my life go pass without me…my feet won’t move…who am I? My children left after college…I said to myself…now what?? I feel so alone, lost, and after over 30 years of employment, I’m ashame that I’m financially dependent on my children. I didn’t mean to take it this far Lisa…I just needed to talk I out. Thx for listening.

    Reply
  30. Louisa
    Louisa says:

    Hi, I’m just 3 weeks in to a break up where I let myself be the victim however I have been working on acceptance so much instead of the blame game.
    The mirror work sounds amazing and something I will start for sure as I am already taking a course in self love so this will be the added bonus louisa needs. Thank you xx

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.