Why Mirror Work Will Change Your Life
One of the questions I get asked a lot is, “Lisa, how do I move forward and let go of the things holding me back?”
I think this was one of my own biggest challenges in life—to cut the chains that were shackled to blame, shame, guilt and regrets from the past.
You see, 25 years ago, I had gotten into a relationship that became abusive mentally, verbally and physically. I was physically able to get myself and Jelani to safety, but man… the guilt, shame and anger at myself was completely holding me hostage.
I kept beating myself up thinking, “Lisa it was bad enough you put yourself in danger, but OMG, you put your three-year-old son in danger.” I knew in order to move forward powerfully, I COULD NOT continue to hold myself hostage to old actions and old experiences. I knew I could not create anything new in my future while I was still playing the blame game.
So…I began to do something super important that I recommend to every single one of my students when we go deep. I teach them the importance of Mirror Work.
Why Mirror Work?
Mirror Work is key because it’s the only time you can really spend with yourself and be confronted with who you really are. I needed to give myself permission to be with me in a healthy way.
Now I’m not talking about spending time in front of a mirror while you are brushing your teeth or combing your hair or putting on makeup. There is a specific way to go about Mirror Work that sets the foundation for all your other growth. Because if you can show up powerfully and whole FOR yourself, you can show up powerfully and whole IN THE WORLD.
Effective Mirror Work
I recommend that you get in front of a mirror and you complete these sentences that will bring about HEALING, RELEASE and CELEBRATION. This is exactly what I did to turn my crawl back into a walk…and my walk back into a run…and my run into a SOAR!
I want you to look at yourself as if you were your best friend. We tend to look at our friends with more compassion, grace, ease and love. When we look at ourselves, we tend to look with judgement and ridicule.
So, start by saying your name, and then come up with 7 different endings for the following sentences:
- ______, I’m proud of you that…
Example: Lisa, I’m proud of you that you got out of bed today. Lisa, I’m proud that you got the courage to get in front of the mirror again. Lisa, I’m proud of you that you got out of that unhealthy relationship.
- ______, I forgive you for…
Example: Lisa, I forgive you for lowering the bar. Lisa, I forgive you for allowing loneliness to compromise your standards.
- ______, I commit to you today that
Example: Lisa, I commit to you that today I will put myself ahead of everyone else. Lisa, I commit to you today that your YES means YES and you will say NO when needed.
Remember—don’t edit and be honest with yourself as it is JUST YOU listening.
Now, I did this Mirror Work for six months straight every morning, but I recommend you do it for 30 days and then consider continuing if it feels good.
Remember, this show is not just a monologue, it’s a dialogue. It’s a rich, delicious, courageous conversation between a tribe of gladiators, change agents and unicorns. I love reading your comments and seeing your engagement with each other and me.
So, what was your big #BOL (breakthrough out loud) from this episode? What did you need to hear? And more importantly, what are you willing to do as a result of this episode? I would really love for you to send me a picture of you standing next to the mirror…and I’ll know what it means.
This is your home, and we are your tribe. And I am your sister in prosperity and possibility. And when I say I love you and believe in you each week, it is NOT because I lack other words. It’s because I truly do!