Mindset Shifts to Speak More Impactfully
For many years I didn’t realize that my unconscious superpower was the ability to engage an audience, to be impactful, to stir a soul, and to create an experience that became unforgettable for so many.
I know I share a lot of tips with you on the techniques I have developed to speak impactfully. But there is something that we don’t talk about often enough that is ESSENTIAL to your success as a powerful speaker. Before mastering any one technique–you must shift your mindset.
You see, whether you’re a leader in a corporation, an entrepreneur, a student, an artist, or are deciding what you want to do next, you want to have a POWERFUL VOICE that impacts and inspires the listener.
No matter where you are on the successful speaking scale, mindset challenges come up again and again. When I was launching my business in 1997, I hit mindset challenges. In 2008, when The Secret came out, I was on Oprah and hit the same mindset challenges again. I needed to shift my mindset again in 2018 when my company grew five times larger.
Oftentimes when these mindset challenges arise, we seek a new coach, mentor, community or course to take, which can be good. But, you can often produce different results in the same situation with a different mindset. Everything we physically do starts first in our mind. So if you take a deeper look and examine what is going on in your mind, it can help steer you in a new direction.
That’s why for this week’s blog, I’m sharing 3 mindset shifts you have an opportunity to make that will have a powerful impact on the way you speak and the way you touch people.
#1 – Understand and Get Comfortable with Transparency
Most people speak as an expert sharing what they know. While that’s important and you must own the body of information you are sharing, most of your audience doesn’t necessarily care about all that you know and where you are now because they themselves are not at that point. They want to know what the journey looked like from the early days. They want to know what it feels like to stand on your mountain top as an expert. They want to know how you climbed there. The journey is the juicy part, not your arrival. Your journey creates the connection with your audience.
When I was on with Oprah, Larry King, Steve Harvey and The Today Show, I studied those appearances to understand why they went viral. Why did 47 million people view those videos in 72 hours? Why did 9,782 people sign up on my database within three days back in 2008 when I was on Oprah and nobody really knew my name? It was because of the journey, not the arrival. They didn’t care that I had a book that sold for a million dollars. They didn’t care that I was in The Secret. They didn’t care. They didn’t care about the arrival. They cared about the $11.42 cents in my bank account. They cared about me looking in the mirror and reminding myself that I’m good enough. That I could turn my crawl into a walk. They cared about me wrapping Jelani a towel for two days when I couldn’t afford diapers, and then committing that I’ll never be this broke again. They cared about me at 224 pounds fighting to get my life back and saying enough is enough. They cared about the journey.
So get comfortable with being transparent. It doesn’t mean your audience is a dump zone. Don’t get on camera or don’t get in front of them and just dump. Take them somewhere high. But let them go through the journey with you. Transparency is powerful.
#2 – Lean into your Breakdown So You Can Celebrate Your Breakthrough
Lean into what could feel like a breakdown, so that you can help celebrate your breakthrough. Now, I don’t like the word breakdown. I remember when my coach first introduced the word breakdown to me, I was like, “Uh, hello?” No, we will not be discussing my breakdown right here in front of people. No matter how far advanced you are in your journey, there will always be things that you get to work through instead of ignoring them or pushing them aside. I want you to invite yourself to lean into what we can call a breakdown, which really is a learning curve, which really is a blind spot.
Most breakdowns occur in your blind spot, so take a look and ask yourself, “Where’s my blind spot? What am I not seeing?” I love to serve people, but my blind spot was my profit margin. I was busy serving everybody, but I couldn’t grow my business. I didn’t realize my breakdown was I knew how to give, but I didn’t know how to receive. I’ll never forget a woman at an event wanting to pour into me. And I was like, no, no, no. I’m here to serve you. And she stopped and looked me in my eyes and said, “Excuse me, but what makes you think you are the only one that has the right to give? Please don’t block my blessings”. I was like, “Okay.” And I realized that my giving muscle was developed but my receiving muscle was in atrophy. And so leaning into the breakdown is synonymous with leaning into the blind spot. Don’t ignore it. Invite yourself to look at it. Emotionally mature grown folks lean into the breakdown because when they do long enough, the breakdown leads to a breakthrough.
#3 – Address any Negative Self-Talk
I invite you to address any negative self talk that is occupying space in your mind. After you address and expose it, I want you to EVICT it. Because it has taken up residence in your head long enough. I wish it was as easy as saying “Pack your bags and go,” but the first step is to address and expose it.
I do a lot of breakthrough training, and many times the very first thing in my two-day or three-day or five-day training is an exercise called negative self-talk. This exercise helps you expose the chatter and bring it to light. When it’s in the dark it has more power in your head. When you pull it out and you put it in the universe, it literally is like nothing. In your head, though, it’s massive.
The negative self-talk that’s living and residing in your head is not celebrating your greatness, nor is it helping you build that breathtaking future. So what can you do? You cannot outrun you. You will never outrun it no matter where you go. So stop and say, “Okay, let me expose you. What are you saying? I’m not good enough. People are gonna laugh at you. You’ll fail. And then people will judge you. You’re going to let the people down around you. There are people smarter than you wanting to do the same thing you’re doing so there’s no reason why you should try it. You’re not pretty enough. You’re too old.”
These were the negative self-talk thoughts in my head I struggled with. This type of mindset can keep you stuck. This mindset can keep you inside a grind that you don’t even want to be in. This mindset is also the same mindset that can shift everything. This mindset is the same mindset that can release and set you free. This mindset that navigates you into restriction and fear is the same mindset that can navigate you out to freedom and flow.
So being willing to ask yourself:
What does my mindset have to do with where I am?
What does my mindset have to do with where I’m going?
Do I need to overcome some belief systems? If so, let’s do that work.
What part of my mindset is optional and what in my mindset is non-negotiable?
Optional vs. non-negotiable is an important mindset shift. I want to lose weight, but I still want to eat my dessert. Or, I want to leave my day job or start my business, but I don’t want to take the risk. When a statement is followed by a “but” you just made it optional. So I want to invite you to understand and examine if your mindset thinking is “optional” or if your mindset thinking is “non-negotiable”? When your mindset is thinking non-negotiable, you move to “No matter what,” meaning you’re willing to risk it all to gain at all.
So to summarize: 1) Get comfortable with transparency; 2) Lean into your breakdown so you can have your breakthrough; and 3) Address negative self-talk. I want to leave you with an affirmation that I believe will work powerfully for you.
“I will release my negative self-talk, and I will stand in my power. I will play big and say yes, no matter what.”
Write that mantra down. I want you to stick it on your window. I want you to stick it on your mirror. I want you to just chant it in your car or stick it on your refrigerator.
Remember, I want to hear from you, so please let me know your biggest takeaway in the comments below. Which of these three mindset shifts resonated with you the most today? Keep talking to me, and I’ll keep talking to you and together we will continue our delicious dialogue.
This is your home. We are your tribe. And when I say I love you and believe in you, it’s because I truly do.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,