How to Disempower Negative Thoughts
You know how much I LOVE to create delicious, dynamic conversations around topics that you need help with.
Recently, a member of our tribe of gladiators, unicorns and change agents asked, “Lisa, how do I avoid negative thoughts that sabotage my mission and my relationships?”
Now THIS is a topic I know a little something about…so get ready for some real talk!
First of all, let me be clear. You CANNOT avoid negative thoughts. Everyone has them. So, the question you really want to ask is how do I MANAGE and DISEMPOWER my negative thoughts?
Here’s the deal…when negative thoughts come up, you need to pull from your mental file of past evidence to dissipate them. You need to show that current thought you have evidence. You need to say…
Hold on…I have evidence that I could do this.
Hold on…I have evidence that I communicate well.
Hold on…I have evidence that I can transform my life.
You see, when people are involved in personal development and have negative thoughts, they somehow think they’ve failed. Again, we all have them. The trick is to have the thought; then stop and say, “You’re not real. You’re a story I’m making up. Here is the evidence.” Then, move through it.
By the way, the more you manage negative conversations, the fewer you have. The more you strengthen your possibility and intention muscle, the more you become adept at proving to yourself that your dreams are a good investment.
Sounds easy, right? But how do you do it?
Here are 3 strategies I personally use to minimize and break down negative thoughts sooner, quicker and faster, so that I don’t take out real estate in them!
#1– Stay in Radical, Forward-Moving Action.
Now, I need to be very clear. What I DON’T mean is to stay in the action of busy-ness. We love to be busy. We’re all so busy being busy and 98-99% of the time our state of being busy only gives us evidence that busy-ness matters. What I’m talking about is FORWARD-MOVING, RADICAL ACTION that will make a difference in your future. Radical action that moves you step-by-step closer toward achieving your dream and goals.
#2 — Write Down your Milestones.
Most people are looking to hit a big goal but forget to document the milestones along the way that let you know you’re moving in the right direction. When it takes a long period of time to get to a goal because the GOAL IS BIG, you can start having negative thoughts because it’s taking so long to get there. Yet, there were probably at least 7 milestones you forgot to acknowledge along the path. OMG when I figured that one out, cause my goals have been GINORMOUS, it was a game changer. I had a goal to transform a million lives. Do you know how long it took me to get to a million? I had to first hit 10,000, then 20,000, then 100,000 etc. I literally had to stop for a moment and celebrate each milestone. Why? Because what gets celebrated gets repeated. Trust me, it’s very difficult to beat yourself up during a celebration.
#3 — Ask Someone to Hold you Accountable.
Get yourself an accountability partner. Make sure you choose someone who’s not afraid of you. Someone who is running as fast or faster than you or might be a little further along. Someone who believes in you and who you’re becoming, NOT who you’ve been. Someone to hold you to your greatness and won’t let you take out real estate in negative conversation. Someone who is serious about their job and committed to keeping you moving toward your goal.
I love reading your comments, so please share your thoughts, AHAs and #BOLs (breakthrough out loud) with me. Have you been beating yourself up about having negative thoughts when you could work on moving through them with grace and ease vs. avoiding them? How did this episode serve you?
It’s my goal to remind you each week that I love you and I believe in you. I POSITIVELY do!
Your Sister in Prosperity and in Possibility,
Lisa, loved today’s message
So good
Wrote down my takeaways
Loved the not giving it real estate mentality
Thank you for all you do, I feel your love
good morning Lisa, you are so awesome, thank you for that delicious message this morning. i am writing down my small milestones that i never celebrated right now, like becoming state licensed, that was a really Big deal. now in my business we have lots gracious and giving mentors, but I’ve decided that i want hear the perspective of other powerful motivators like yourself. see i retired two years ago after 32 yrs as a juvenile/adult probation officer in LA County. i never remember celebrating my small milestones. for instance, every 5 yrs we received a pin depicting the year of service. i never celebrated any of those milestones. i have started the same in my new busines, but that stops today. thank you for reinforcing the importance celebrating the small milestones on the way to your Big goal. sorry for rambling, but your message inspired me. Thank you, God Bless you and look forward to joining you again. have a wonderful day and stay safe.
Thank you Lisa
From the bottom of my heart thank you
I have been playing the blame-game of “You are not doing enough, you have not done enough Hlabathi” everyday since the lockdown started in South Africa.
You have made me realize that I nearly aborted my dream.
Thank you very much – I am going to start documenting and celebrating each day’s milestones.
Thank you so much Lisa, with Love.
I have been practicing catching my negative thoughts for a long time, now I catch them and turn that thought into a positive, faster and faster. For me, I know I’m going to have negative thoughts so I accept and notice them and let them GO !!!
I have a really close friend who does hold me Accountable and the same for her. Calling her now.
Lisa, I have, been beating myself up. My husband and I relocated to Texas. Our finances allowed us to reopen our church. Then the virus happened, our oldest son and his reoccurring problem with drugs. Sis, I just shut down.
I hear you Brenda! I am being divorced. Sometimes the virus just is down the list… and a son with a drug problem is definitely one of those times. It breaks our hearts, daily.
Ms Brenda, you can.
You already HAVE. You have been through so much and you are still standing.
It is really hard and you have managed to keep going. You are one strong lady; forged in fire.
If I might suggest: claim your evidence of accomplishment, no matter how small those accomplishments feel. They might be hiding; look for them!!
You are a great mom! You have real concern and love for your oldest son and his sibling(s). Sometimes, what seems best for him seems impossible for the rest of the family.
Wrap him in your faith and love and put him in God’s hands. I am not saying abandon him, AND, at the same time, this is not something for you to fix, even though we as mamas want so desperately to fix our children’s pain. You cannot fix this; only God can.
I have been listening to Whitney Houson’s Preacher’s Wife sound track: “step-by-step.” You can. Yes, you can! AND you have been all along. Not perfectly – no person is perfect! – AND you HAVE made millions of awesome choices and actions. Remember them. God does not call us to be perfect: not even with grace are we close to perfect.
Honey, be as kind to yourself as you would optimally want the best, kindest, most wonderful person in the world to be to your children when they were in their most precious state. You deserve it. Each of us does.
Brenda,
May I also suggest you listen to Lisa’s post on “Why Mirror Work will change your life”?
Blessings to you. Yana: You are NOT alone. You did not cause your son’s struggles. You are ‘good enough.’ You are a good mom. Truly. Find your evidence. It is there: look for it and embrace the truth of it.
Thank you!!!! Lisa, you always have an on time message….a .message at the precise moment when it is needed. I was having a negative thought earlier. You brought me to tears. Tears of release from that thought. I am ready to continue moving forward. God Bless you!
Hi Sis Lisa, thank you for teaching me to celebrate myself. I always used to be too hard on myself when I make mistakes and focus on them more, when I have plenty on good stuffs I’ve done that I can celebrate.
I will celebrate myself from this day forward!!!
I love you Sis!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was anxious for an upcoming call today and realized I was steeped in self doubt. And then low and behold I got your email – how fortuitous! I pulled from my archive of successes, refocused on next steps and checked in with my wife, who regularly holds me accountable. I appreciate you and all that you do!
Thank you this was very inspiring!
Huge BOL for me is milestones. Not only do I not celebrate enough, but I tend to use them as evidence it’s not happening fast enough. When I get real, I’ve come a long way in a short amount of time. Giving myself permission to feel the joy of it… That is the true breakthrough. Thank you, Lisa!!
I’m learning how to replace negative thought with the Word of God. What does He have to say?
Dear Lisa:
Tears of joy are in my eyes. This message is so timely. Thank you, thank you and thank you, again and again and again.
I wrote down the three take aways in my upcoming to do list. This message is so powerful. I am so grateful.
1. Stay radical
2. Write down my milestones
3.Ask someone to hold me to my greatness
You are a blessing to us, gladiators, change agents, unicorns and women warriors! GOD bless your week and your day!
Hi Lisa,
I hope all is well with you during this time, and I also hope this message finds you well.
This one was the biggest “issue”, that I have been recently beating myself up for, “having negative thoughts”. I remember this year before quarantine, I volunteered for a short period at Black Ink 125th St in Harlem, NY. I was soooooo hard on myself because I was personally working extremely hard on building a strong internal dialogue with myself, still continuing to work towards my dreams, and learning how to deal with others that are not as aware of positive internal dialogue or want to be aware.
I literally was in the bathroom ripping at my head because of certain situations that was just so negative it was making mentally ill. The question that I keep asking myself is, “what’s wrong with me?” to the point old trauma resurfaces.
I am a hypersensitive intuitive person aka Indigo, that can’t be in the environment where negativity or bad mouthing is something fun to do. I tried to brush it off and continue to do my job until I moved to next level but I couldn’t just keep it in and I exploded. Concluding that I sadly am no longer working in that environment.
It’s not one of the moments that I am happy about. But anyways, it all started with beating myself up for having negative thoughts or simply having an opinion, appearance, or behavior that may or may not be understood. But I am learning it truly matters on the environment that I surround myself with. Which can help alleviate the stress of harboring those negative thoughts so I do not project them onto myself or others. So that it’s doesn’t get in the way of possibly ruining my reputation, relationships, or future endeavors.
My question is, how do I deal with the purposeful haters?
Respectfully,
Melissa
Melissa,
May I suggest that you listen to the meditative “Add Heart” calls of an organization called HeartMath? They have them once a month and the idea is to add ‘heat love’ to the world. The past recordings are on various topics that you might like. They can be found here:
https://www.heartmath.org/resources/add-heart/add-heart-calls/recordings/
Blessings to you.
You are a beautiful soul who deserves all good things and all of your feelings ARE valid, no matter who says or implies otherwise. Wrap yourself in a powerful protective energy field; I believe it will help.
Hello there sister Lisa. First and foremost, thanks very much for your powerful and encouraging words that change lives around the globe. May God continue to bless you and your family.
I presently started my life-time goal (serving others) that I had for so long struggled to pursue due to my inability (introvert) to freely express myself in public. Though I still have this embarrassing problem, I can’t effort to continue procrastinating to do God’s work. I have lived more than half of my life ignoring this dream, I feel guilty about it every day and I want to live the rest of my life doing what God wants me to do (serve His people) as part of my responsibilities through this Earth. So, Sister Lisa, what do you think I can do to solve this problem? Perhaps you might say.. practice, practice, and practice. Yes, that’s very true, but please give me something more than that
Thanks and God bless
Abednego
WOW
Lisa this is truly the advice my ❤️ needed
I am going through a major transformation in my life.
This is great, these tools will help me navigate those muddy waters
Ginger
This resonated with me so much this week. I beat myself up over the small things sometimes and don’t allow myself to feel the joy or take account of the milestones I’ve hit. This week I felt defeated over my sons birthday party but my friend said we’ll have another but this time it will be for you and how far you’ve come!! I was in tears when she said that but this episode reminds me I CAN celebrate me. Thanks Lisa #BOL
Thanks for that word today. Life has taught me to be successful I must be self motivated. So when I have negative self chatter . I immediately stop and say out loud. No not if but when, not maybe but, I will and I must. I’ve learned to change my language and to listen to my spiritual guides. I’m more mindful and aware of my direction. So because of this new found bag of tools. My life is on an upswing. My take away today is to record and celebrate my milestones . That I will introduce to the new and evolving me . Thank u my Sister for always reminding me to stop and evaluate my progress.
Love u Lisa . ❤️
Negative has really affected thousands souls as it always hold people down.Daily we cannot move because of negative thoughts and it is true milestones can easily defeat negative thoughts as we celebrate every milestone the negative thoughts are buried one by one.Lisa the statement is really good and motivating and it is true we cannot totally eliminate negative thoughts but we can manage the thoughts.
I have been playing the blame-game of “You are not doing enough, you have not done enough Hlabathi” everyday since the lockdown started in South Africa.
You have made me realize that I nearly aborted my dream.
Thank you very much – I am going to start documenting and celebrating each day’s milestones.
Thank you so much Lisa, with Love.
OMG. My name is D’Angelo and I haven’t really heard the concept of celebrating yourself. It’s been a very rich last two years. Sometimes it seemed like I was on a rollercoaster but I’m still here and I’m making progress. I’m going to learn to celebrate me. I’m worth it!!!!!!!
Thank you so much, I appreciate you very much. May the universe shine on you.
Being guided to this energy this morning was indeed a GodSend…since negative thoughts are just as much a part of us as positive ones…I feel like this…”Purposeful Pandemic Pause” has been a time for me to challenge myself to not only Dream and Envision…but to…Make It Happen! This morning I created four LARGE FLYY GOALS for myself…and these three guidelines will definitely help keep me on my path…I’m opening myself up to who my FLYY Accountability Partners are…I Can See Them…Thank You So Much For This Moment Lisa…More Than You Know!!!
In FLYYLOVE
Sistah Anyango!
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for this episode.
It resonated on me as I am working on growing my finances and I am feeling overwhelmed.
Thank you to remind me that I need to write down my milestone and my big AHA is to ask someone to hold me accountable!!!!! #YES YES!
Thanks for being the light house for me
Isabelle
Miss Lisa,
Thank you for your voice and wisdom. One thing that stood out to me is the part about you having evidence that your busy-ness matters. This spoke to me as I’ve oftentimes positioned myself to be pulled in multiple directions. This year, I’ve refocused and that has helped me counterbalance negative thoughts and emotions. The tips that you provided are spot on and actionable. Thank you, again.
– Brandi
Hello Lisa:
Thank you so much for the information you have given on negative thoughts. I was talking to a friend today about the same thing. She suggested that I not beat myself up because of them. I needed to hear that I can celebrate myself for the milestone accomplished. This was my BOL for today. Thanks again. You helped me over.
Bernice Hendreson
Hi Lisa,
To be honest, I have not started my elevate program as yet. My life is so full of busyness, for others, not for myself. I am having problems with being organized, and so my #BOL moment here is #1 Stay in radical action, forward movement that makes a difference in my life. I’m celebrating this milestone. I listened to this podcast. Thank you!!!