Find Empowerment When You Feel Powerless
It’s your girl Lisa Nichols here, and I wanna know…are you feeling a bit powerless right now with everything going on in the world? Trust me, when I say #YANA (you are not alone).
Now more than ever, it’s timely to have a courageous conversation around taking back your power, feeling in control, navigating your own circumstances, and having influence over your own life.
You see, the feeling of empowerment does not happen by default. It’s an active process, and there are a few steps you can start taking today. That’s why this week I felt it was important to share my top tips to help you shift your experience from powerless to powerful. Now this transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, but it is possible, little by little.
#1 – Increasing your Circle of Influence.
I’m not sure if you are familiar with Stephen Covey’s work on the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, but it was a TOTAL GAME CHANGER for me. He has this concept where there are two circles — the circle of concern and the circle of influence. He says 80% of people spend their time in their CIRCLE OF CONCERN — meaning they focus 80% of their energy on things that they’re concerned about, but not things that they can actually influence. While only 20% of people spend 80% of their time in their circle of influence.
So the average person who is feeling like they’re out of control or frustrated or powerless is likely spending 80% of their time in their circle of concern. These concerns are things that matter to you and are important to you, but you don’t have any or have very little influence over them. However, the game changers, gladiators and unicorns who continue to change their lives on an ongoing basis spend 80% of their time in their circle of influence and only 20% of their time in their circle of concern.
That was huge for me to learn, and it literally changed everything for me. Because back then, I was average and didn’t even know it. So, I began to change slowly. Again, it doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t just go from 80% in one circle and hop right on over to 80% in the other.
What happens is you begin to work on things that you CAN impact more often in your life. You begin to focus your attention on things that you CAN shift, things that you DO have more control over, and things that you CAN influence. Then, all of a sudden you look up and you’re spending 70% of your time in your circle of concern. And then you continue to do the things like OWN your finances, OWN your health and wellness, UP THE ANTE in your relationships. You also have the opportunity to take ownership of your power. Unconsciously, we give our power to others and hand over our joy to a situation or circumstance, so I invite you to OWN your power. And then you’ll find you’ll get down to 60%, then 50% and then 40% and so on. Again, it doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen and soon you’ll be spending more and more time in your circle of influence.
#2 – Learn to Say NO.
Now the next thing is to lean into is saying no more often. As leaders, change agents and gladiators, we often give away too much. Yup, guilty as charged. That was me and still is to some degree. You can say no without any negative energy but simply out of necessity. As my grandmother says, “No is a complete sentence.” It doesn’t require any explanation. If you want your “YES” to have value, you need to own your “NO.”
#3 – Confide in Someone.
The final tip for finding empowerment is to confide in someone when you’re feeling powerless. So many times we’re in our heads and living inside this conversation where we feel like we’re a victim to something. It is always SO much bigger in your head. When you get it out of your head and speak it, it dissipates into the nothingness that it always was.
So, find someone who can be a high-conscious listener. You don’t want to share this mindset with everyone. You don’t want to share this with someone who’s going to literally pull out the horns, balloons and party gear and throw a pity party with you. That’s NOT the person to invite to the party.
You want to tell someone who’s going to require you to climb the conscious stairway and to think about the next best version of yourself. Not the person who will take out real estate with you in a state of powerlessness. You want to share it with the person who is going to reach out their hand and invite you to pack your mental and emotional bags and change your mindset to a new zip code. That’s who you want to share with so you can move from feeling powerless to feeling empowered.
It’s just about a few simple steps. If you’re in that place of feeling like you’re out of control…like you’re working in your circle of concern more than your circle of influence…like you’ve been giving away your yes too much and haven’t been owning your no….or feel like you need to share your thoughts with a friend that is going to pull you to the next level of your consciousness, then this week’s conversation was designed just for you.
Remember, we are committed here to having delicious dynamic dialogue. This is not a monologue. So please share with me in the comments below what your biggest AHA was from this episode. What did you need to hear? What conversation did you need to have with a highly conscious friend?
This is your home, and we are your tribe. I LOVE you, and I BELIEVE in you. These are not just words. I truly do. I know right now that on some level when I’m sending you out a cyber hug, that you can feel my love.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,