Find Empowerment When You Feel Powerless

It’s your girl Lisa Nichols here, and I wanna know…are you feeling a bit powerless right now with everything going on in the world? Trust me, when I say #YANA (you are not alone).

Now more than ever, it’s timely to have a courageous conversation around taking back your power, feeling in control, navigating your own circumstances, and having influence over your own life.

You see, the feeling of empowerment does not happen by default. It’s an active process, and there are a few steps you can start taking today. That’s why this week I felt it was important to share my top tips to help you shift your experience from powerless to powerful. Now this transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, but it is possible, little by little.

#1 – Increasing your Circle of Influence.

I’m not sure if you are familiar with Stephen Covey’s work on the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, but it was a TOTAL GAME CHANGER for me. He has this concept where there are two circles — the circle of concern and the circle of influence. He says 80% of people spend their time in their CIRCLE OF CONCERN — meaning they focus 80% of their energy on things that they’re concerned about, but not things that they can actually influence. While only 20% of people spend 80% of their time in their circle of influence.

So the average person who is feeling like they’re out of control or frustrated or powerless is likely spending 80% of their time in their circle of concern. These concerns are things that matter to you and are important to you, but you don’t have any or have very little influence over them. However, the game changers, gladiators and unicorns who continue to change their lives on an ongoing basis spend 80% of their time in their circle of influence and only 20% of their time in their circle of concern.

That was huge for me to learn, and it literally changed everything for me. Because back then, I was average and didn’t even know it. So, I began to change slowly. Again, it doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t just go from 80% in one circle and hop right on over to 80% in the other.

What happens is you begin to work on things that you CAN impact more often in your life. You begin to focus your attention on things that you CAN shift, things that you DO have more control over, and things that you CAN influence. Then, all of a sudden you look up and you’re spending 70% of your time in your circle of concern. And then you continue to do the things like OWN your finances, OWN your health and wellness, UP THE ANTE in your relationships. You also have the opportunity to take ownership of your power. Unconsciously, we give our power to others and hand over our joy to a situation or circumstance, so I invite you to OWN your power.  And then you’ll find you’ll get down to 60%, then 50% and then 40% and so on. Again, it doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen and soon you’ll be spending more and more time in your circle of influence.

#2 – Learn to Say NO.

Now the next thing is to lean into is saying no more often. As leaders, change agents and gladiators, we often give away too much. Yup, guilty as charged. That was me and still is to some degree. You can say no without any negative energy but simply out of necessity. As my grandmother says, “No is a complete sentence.” It doesn’t require any explanation. If you want your “YES” to have value, you need to own your “NO.”

#3 – Confide in Someone.

The final tip for finding empowerment is to confide in someone when you’re feeling powerless. So many times we’re in our heads and living inside this conversation where we feel like we’re a victim to something. It is always SO much bigger in your head. When you get it out of your head and speak it, it dissipates into the nothingness that it always was.

So, find someone who can be a high-conscious listener. You don’t want to share this mindset with everyone. You don’t want to share this with someone who’s going to literally pull out the horns, balloons and party gear and throw a pity party with you. That’s NOT the person to invite to the party.

You want to tell someone who’s going to require you to climb the conscious stairway and to think about the next best version of yourself. Not the person who will take out real estate with you in a state of powerlessness. You want to share it with the person who is going to reach out their hand and invite you to pack your mental and emotional bags and change your mindset to a new zip code. That’s who you want to share with so you can move from feeling powerless to feeling empowered.

It’s just about a few simple steps. If you’re in that place of feeling like you’re out of control…like you’re working in your circle of concern more than your circle of influence…like you’ve been giving away your yes too much and haven’t been owning your no….or feel like you need to share your thoughts with a friend that is going to pull you to the next level of your consciousness, then this week’s conversation was designed just for you.

Remember, we are committed here to having delicious dynamic dialogue. This is not a monologue. So please share with me in the comments below what your biggest AHA was from this episode. What did you need to hear? What conversation did you need to have with a highly conscious friend?

This is your home, and we are your tribe. I LOVE you, and I BELIEVE in you. These are not just words. I truly do. I know right now that on some level when I’m sending you out a cyber hug, that you can feel my love.

Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,

30 replies
  1. Calvin Otundo
    Calvin Otundo says:

    This is powerful! Saying NO to requests is my biggest challenge and I need to re-learn how to do it without hurting people!

    • Kusum
      Kusum says:

      I have learnt that first we need to Be honest to ourselves then only we can Be honest to others.
      For every healthy relationships, isn’t that the most important thing to do? To Be honest to ourselves and to others?
      It is equally important to keep in mind, how we say “ no” without hurting other persons feelings. That is a challenge isn’t it? It requires for us to sit quiet, meditate, and contemplate on it, to find the best way to say no.

      Take care.

  2. monica
    monica says:

    Thank you for the time you give to this program.
    I was wondering what do you do if you don t have that someone to confide with
    on your level or higher right know .

    • Irais Torres
      Irais Torres says:

      Hi Monica! There is somebody always out here. I agree with Lisa in the sense that We Are Not Alone and neither are you. I am just another person like you who is trying to get to be there best self. I am currently in school studying Applied Behavioral Sciences, I am not certified to diagnose any mental conditions or illnesses nor can I give advice, however, I am an amazing listener, free of judgment. I am offering affordable phone or video call sessions for those who need a positive ear. I have a wide range of self help resources that have been helpful in my personal journey and that I can recommend to you. So please feel free to check me out through IG @ira_is_chicago or on FB as Ira Is. Have a wonderful Sunday! God Bless!

    • Tom List
      Tom List says:

      That higher spiritual person that you are seeking will show up. It will help if you just relax and know that it will happen. Part of this process is allowing the universe to bring him or her to you. Blessings to you

  3. Lillian
    Lillian says:

    Hi tribe, people close to you will really drain your energy. They want to consume from you until you are left with nothing. Lisa, I took your advice at the beginning of the year when you were teaching us the mirror exercise. I stood up, thanks to you. I have now drawn a line. I needed this

  4. Melissa M.
    Melissa M. says:

    This message was for me, Recently i have been feeling powerless.
    I have been spending too much of my time on everything that is going wrong instead of right. You said it best, explaining the circles.. I need to make the change.
    Handed over my power to circumstances and I am taking it back.
    Thank you Lisa everytime I listen to you I feel like I can achieve anything.
    My #1 motivator❤
    Thank you for being my sister in prosperity and possibility.
    Sending love and great energy your way.

  5. Marjan
    Marjan says:

    You are truly a very inspirational woman. You sound so genuine!
    Wish I could meet more people like you…
    For me it seems very difficult to avoid toxic contacts.
    Thank you for being you.

  6. Treasuree Kemp
    Treasuree Kemp says:

    I am so happy to be a part of this tribe! I feel empowered just by reading hearing this week’s show. I plan on using the steps to walk in my power again and step into my next level of purpose from God! Thank you for your incite!

  7. La Tanya Harris
    La Tanya Harris says:

    Wow…this is do enlighteningm i never this. I would say this is Aha moment.
    Thank you for you sharing your knowledge and wisdom Lisa.

  8. Dawn
    Dawn says:

    The A-ha, was the 80% influential and 20% concern and vice versa. I can only do what I am empowered to do and I have leave the other concerns(20%) of people to themselves. Thank you for your obedience to your calling.
    Dawn B.

  9. Lisa Michelle Wiggins
    Lisa Michelle Wiggins says:

    I just started my 28 day to transformation. I really enjoy this and making myself accountable. Great stuff

  10. Alka Bhutani
    Alka Bhutani says:

    I have watched your videos earlier Lisa but this was absolutely brilliant.Totally loved it.
    Just realised how many times we handover the power or joy to a situation or someone and totally become powerless.We gave it away so its time to take it back.
    Thank you Lisa,please share more of such Videos.
    Your energy is so infectious.

  11. Molefiseng Phora
    Molefiseng Phora says:

    Thank you so much sister Lisa. I think I’m beginning to reduce my concern and is now at 60%. Hopefully in the next few months i’l be on 40%. Slowly increasing my circle of influence.

  12. shahrzad saderi
    shahrzad saderi says:

    I love you, Lisa Nicolas. All your love and passion comes through your conversation with us. I’ve practiced with the “Anchoring technique ” and omg!! what a change you can experience. I feel your energy so much. Can’t wait to see you in person. And maybe one day you’ll be my guest speaker. It’s my dream to interview transformational beings like yourself. Thank you for being here.

  13. Lisa Thomas
    Lisa Thomas says:

    Lisa, I need to talk to you. I started the 28 day to results, reached day 2 and got stuck. I am in a difficult place right now and if it were at all possible would like to speak to you or someone on your team. This video lesson impacted me greatly because I am constantly being pulled back into a place where I am uncomfortable and where I feel pain and somewhat sick…yet I feel trapped despite knowing that I am not trapped. It is a lot to write here but let me know if I can reach out to anyone.

  14. Debjani Sharma
    Debjani Sharma says:

    Thank you Lisa for your empowering message.
    Got me thinking of setting my boundaries & learning to say the much needed “No”.
    Love & blessings ❤

  15. Tenille
    Tenille says:

    ACTIVE PROCESS- Taking action has always been a condition of empowerment. Your thoughts alone won’t influence, produce or create change for you. It’s what you do with your ideas that empower you. I have held in my heart a great vision, the ability and the tools to carry out my vision for years. But unfortunately with my permission, I allowed circumstances to dictate my possibility of success. So my great vision prospered nothing more than just concerns piled high. Empowerment is an ACTIVE PROCESS. There’s no other way!

  16. Donna
    Donna says:

    Thank you, Lisa. Just what I needed to hear! I’m going to work on taking back my power and consciously spending more time in my circle of influence. All the while gently reminding myself that change doesn’t happen overnight. You’re the best!!!


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