Are You Prepared for Love?
I often get asked about finding love, navigating through love or expanding love. In this space, where I share the tools that we need to build lives that we are excited to live, it makes a lot of sense to talk about love. You may know that I got married last year, at the age of 55, to the love of my life. I have never been married before, and people want to know what I did to bring this love into my life. For so many years, I prioritized being a mom. I prioritized building a business. Then I decided to prioritize love, and open myself up for love. While running a company, being a mom, and traveling the world, I was able to bring love into my life because I was prepared for it.
I am going to share three of the ways that I prepared myself for love, so that you can prepare yourself to bring love into your being. You are already loved – I love you, and I know others do, too. But having close, loving relationships is something that many people struggle with due to fear, limiting beliefs and past experiences. So let’s take a closer look at how to prepare for love.
Step One: Fall Madly in Love with Yourself
OK, I’m not talking about just surface level love here; I want you to fall deeply, madly, passionately in love with YOU. You might be saying, “Lisa, that’s crazy. How can I fall madly in love with myself?” And I would ask you, “How do you expect someone else to fall madly in love with you if you can’t do it for yourself?” When you love yourself, you are showing others how to love you! You attract what you feel you deserve. Read that again: you attract what you feel you deserve. You must show it to yourself first. You can’t expect others to fall madly in love with you if you aren’t madly in love with yourself.
When you take yourself for granted, waiting until everyone else is taken care of before fulfilling your own needs, you are telling the world that you are OK with getting what’s left over after everyone else is served. Is that the message you want to send? Instead, why don’t you show others how you deserve to be loved by loving all of you: your brilliance AND your imperfections? You need to let the world (and yourself) know that you are whole, complete and delicious all on your own. You are the cake. Your partner will be the cherry on top. With or without that partner, you are a delectable cake, all on your own.
Step Two: Clear Out your Limiting Beliefs
This is a big one, and it is important for ALL kinds of love: romantic love and friendships. Do you live in protection mode, keeping your walls up to prevent getting hurt? Do you close off your heart because you have been betrayed in the past by a lover or friend? You are telling yourself that relationships are dangerous, so you’d better be careful! You better not trust anyone, or you’re going to get burned. You diagnose yourself with “trust issues.” Let me tell you something: that is not a diagnosis; that is a choice. When you choose to have trust issues, you are cutting yourself off from love.
You might have subconscious limitations about losing your independence, letting your career slide, or not being as good of a parent if you make love a priority. You might think that love will distract you from your other obligations and responsibilities…but is that really true? Why not consider that love can bring more joy into your life, making your career and parenting easier and more enjoyable? When you have those career successes, wouldn’t it be great to share that with a romantic partner or a best friend? Wouldn’t it be fun to attend your child’s sporting events or concerts with someone you love, who can share in the love and pride you have in your child?
Until you change how you believe love is going to affect your life, it might seem like love is going to pull you away from other important parts of your life, but that’s a story you’re telling yourself. You don’t live in the past, and you are not the same person you were five or ten years ago, so what happened to that person doesn’t need to happen to THIS person – who you are right now. Remember, if you are already madly in love with yourself, you can let go of those limiting beliefs and honor who you are today, knowing that you deserve beautiful, passionate, pure love.
Step Three: Take Action
Here’s where you walk the walk – we can talk about this all day long, but until you take action, nothing is going to happen. Just like the old saying goes, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – so you’ve got to take the shot, again and again, until you score the points. Yes, I know it’s scary. Taking the risk of letting someone into your heart is really scary. But is it as scary as keeping your heart protected and never sharing the joy of life with someone else? That man or woman of your dreams is out there waiting for you to show up – you’re not going to find them while you’re hiding out at home.
Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past; we all have. But you aren’t protecting your heart by keeping it to yourself. Your heart was designed to love and when you fail to take action, you are breaking your own heart. If you’ve already done steps one and two, then you are prepared to take step three and put yourself out there. You deserve healthy, abundant love: the kind of love that makes you feel alive!
Think of three action steps you can take in the next month to move yourself in the direction of love. Maybe that means taking a class where you’ll meet new people with similar interests, or joining in social activities at your place of worship, or even just taking walks with your dog at the local dog park where other people are gathered. Whatever actions you take, congratulate yourself! Taking action can be tough, but it’s necessary to find the love you so richly deserve.
Remember that in order to attract the love that you desire and deserve, you have got to be prepared for love. Step one is to fall madly in love with yourself. Step two is to remove your limiting beliefs. Step three is to take action. When you put these three steps together, you will be feeling so much love that you can’t help but to draw it in. You can find help with all of these in my books and videos, but it starts with your mindset. You need to decide what you want and don’t want in friendships and partnerships and then model that in how you love yourself. This will teach others how to love you.
Because this is a dialogue, and not a monologue – I want to hear from you! How are you going to change the way you love yourself? What limiting beliefs about love are holding you back, and how can you change your mindset to overcome those beliefs? What three action steps are you going to take this month to move you closer to finding the love that will enhance and enrich your life? I want to know! Please share your #BOL (Breakthrough Out Loud) with our tribe. I love you – and now I want you to do the same for yourself, surrounding yourself with the love that you are desiring. You can do it – I believe in you. I’ll see you real soon.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,
Lisa I have just realised how much I isolate myself, it feels easier to not have to constantly tell people what I need and have them ignore me. I am going to journal and see where I am after this video. I’m excited for the future. I deserve more.
Limiting belief I no longer hold onto, is letting go of fear of the unknown. I agree self love is key. Thank you for sharing your pearls of wisdom today about being open to love by being madly in love with self.
Congratulations on your marriage.
Thank you for this video it is right in line with my new career and my most recent journey. After completing a 10 month training and certification in Rapid Transformation Therapy I found that I had strong Limiting Beliefs around relationships with men. I always attracted men that loved me that I didn’t love because that kept my heart safe. I am now learning to question my beliefs in all areas and ask myself “is that really true”. I follow my feelings because I know that I can rationalize almost anything that I want.
Yes Lisa, thank you! I’ve outgrown the idea that someone else is responsible for giving me love. I am made of love and can fill myself up with so much love. I am the cake! All of my relationships are the icing and on top!
Very nice, I have an interesting ear to hear your thoughts on love. You are contagious. I have my thoughts and I have my convictions on love looking forward. That love should for me be as it was in the beginning; a rib that is electric and magnetic. That woman of God were we kemetically stand union with the power of the unsaid but yet understood by both. A will to love and help and assist humanity together. She will be my mirror even more so my miracle. Beautiful.
Thank you very much for this post, something which i really needed to hear. I need to work on my fears really hard. Thanks again, lots of love to you
I was thinking sometimes that a partner would take my attention away from my career but now I have realized that my priority now has been to find love in a partner. I want to share my life with someone. This month has been about self-love and I have really been transforming quickly on self-love, appreciating myself more and more. I feel more at peace about it. I truly believe my partner is in my midst now that I am open and ready to receive them. Thank you Lisa!
I am relate to your comments
I am only now beginning to love myself more, and I realize from your video that I need to put more energy into that. Really double down and do it visibly.
OMG, this is me!!! Seeing romantic love as a threat to and distraction from my mission in my coaching/speaking and facilitating practice. This is a big aha moment for me!
Thank you for the reminders. So #1. I intend to tell myself daily even at 71 with many so called failed relationships… I know they were part of my learning to know what I need, desire and CAN now have enter my life because I KNOW my worth and what I truly deserve. To also remind myself what I have accomplished in my life… I AM BRAVE COURAGEOUS STRONG DESERVING AND SEEN FOR THE LIGHT AND GIFT I AM TO MY WORLD… after All I have been through this man will be KIND ,GENEROUS ,COMMUNICATIVE ,SEES AND LOVES MY HEART SOUL AND SPIRIT AND IS IN ALIGNMENT WITH MY CONSCIOUSNESS
JOYFUL FUN EXPLORING LOVES TO DANCE PLAYS MUSIC (piano). Lol
#2 limiting beliefs. Too old, no $ or financial security , world situations causing my mind stress and hopelessness …every time a negative depressive thought comes into my mind … I will say thank you… and send out prayers and gratitude and healing thoughts to our world and its leaders
#3 I will get involved with my community in as many ways that my heart and energy and passion leads me.. I apologize if this may be TMI but I figured if everyone reads it that it may help others while ALSO giving my vision more
LOVE AND ENERGY!!! MANY BLESSINGS AND ONE
Hey darling, now I know what I have been doing wrong. Always putting others before me till I lost myself in the process. Currently trying to put myself more and this encourage me further. Thank you Lisa
Hi Lisa! Thank you for reminding me of the importance of being in an amazing love affair with myself. I have a 7 Day Self Love Challenge starting on February 19, 2023 with a group of ladies. Your perspective helps me have a well rounded view. It also helps me be my best and at the top of my game.
I got a new affirmation.
I am the cake!!! *As I sashay*
As of this post, I am 51 and have never been married. I had the opportunity to get married at the age of 24, but I broke off my engagement because I knew, deep down, I wasn’t ready.
Twenty six years later, I finally feel that I am, but the narratives around being a single woman over 35 have been relentless! So when I read you got married for the first time at age 55, you gifted me beyond words with inspiration and hope that it is still possible for me, too!
On December 28th of 2022, I met an absolutely WONDERFUL man who is twelve years my senior, in Home Depot. Forty-six days later, we are having the BEST TIME allowing our attraction to SLOWLY and naturally unfold. No microwave dating here! Our vetting process with each other has been intentional and substantive, but it has also brought joy and delight I thought had eluded me. So THANK YOU Lisa, for confirming that my decades of self-work has been worth it and I deserve love without an expiration date!
Lisa Nicholls! Thanks for sharing you! My now lifestyle I am about me now! Not about them past lifestyles. As I have now learnt to Release! Reflect! Live and let live; forgive and forget; because any past love who has hurt me their conscience must be their guide as they continue to enjoy their happy lifestyles with their chosen ones either partners, girlfriends or wives. Or if they choose by their personal choices to remain bachelors. My life is about being me however I choose to live contented and free of romantic worries.
I don’t know what to say right now I am on a journey and it need patience and understanding.
Thanks Lisa. I have just realised at 56 that I can’t let anyone get closer to me . Not my husband and not my girlfriends – so my relationships never progress beyond a certain point and therefore I remain unhappy and longing . I have no idea how to fix this but at least I have the awareness . I will most definitely work on the 3 points you offered us and take action . Thank you so much for all your amazing videos. God bless .
I am ready to let go of the limiting belief that my needs don’t come first in a relationship. I need higher standards!
I need to love myself…fall in love with me.
What’s holding me back is that someone won’t like me back.
Me too. That’s the perfect way to put it!
Lisa you realy touched me deep in more than just one ways,because of past experience i am very cautious.My main reason for standing firm is because of that great Love that i have for my mom , daughter and my self. Any way i am prepared to firmly or madly standing in Love when that special person come my way. With out a doubt she will be the cherry on the top of the cake.
I release the shame about my weaker parts and about my vulnerability. I don’t have to be perfect to be lovable. I love my ability to learn and to grow. I fall in love with myself in all my uniqueness, my brilliance and all my imperfections. I clear up my limiting believes about friendships and romantic relationship. As a single mom (since pregnancy) with a grown up wonderful son, living alone almost all my lifetime, your story and your power, Lisa, resonates with me and gives hope! I am ready now to make new positive experiences ! I open myself to receive and give love as I never did before 🙂 !
Thanks for this. I think I have been failing at loving myself because of my imperfections. When you mentioned that I should learn to love even my imperfections it’s like you opened a whole new perspective. I have realized that it is a complete mind shift that will take time but I will start taking action now.
You are and always will be my greatest inspiration.
You are really talking to me. I have always believed that my soul mate will find me. I never go anywhere except work.
Thank you very much for opening my eyes the more a think about all those steps I feel so much light inside I feel pure, I am so delicious
Im already letting go of those limiting beliefs. When it’s says “Your heart was designed to love, when fail to take action, you are breaking your own heart” wow
Thank you for this message.
Wow, I’m in the process of doing this! I’m actively working on Step 1 after being immersed in grief and very little energy to take action. Two wonderful encounters occurred that have me working Step 1 and indirectly working Step 2. Your class last Saturday allowed me to see my story and my worth more clearly. Thanks Lisa
Hi Lisa. I just want to thank you for your loving message. When you say you love us, I really believe you. I was beginning to succumb to the negative self-talk and wanted to just give up on everything. I have worked really hard to overcome and release negative thoughts and beliefs, but it was beginning to seem like the negativity was going to win. I seem to have difficulty releasing the habit of comparing myself to others. Others seem to “get it” and I wonder what is wrong with me in this classroom of life. I don’t want to ramble on, but a few days ago I asked Spirit to please help me. Next thing I know, I get your email/video about love. Love is a scary thing for me, but I watched your video and I said, “ah-ha!” I need to really learn to love ME. I watched some of your other short videos on self-love and affirmations. Thank you, Lisa for your words of encouragement. I am pressing the “reset/reboot” button, and allowing Spirit and the angels to show me how to fall madly in love with myself, as you say. Please forgive me for the lengthy post, but I just had to let you know. Thank you, my sister!❤️❤️❤️
Lisa, I never realized that by putting everyone else first, I was setting myself up for being thought of as maybe “second best”. I always believed if you love people, put them first. But now I am going to start being strong enough to ask for what I want, and believing I deserve it. Thank you for your inspiration and love.
Thanks Lisa! I can relate so much to your story, I was a mom for years, and now I am focusing on business growth and development. You are an inspiration, I trust that everything will fall into place
Hi Lisa, love your videos, and I want to congratulate you on your newly found love, blessings love!
I have a condition! Lol I am not ready and to be honest I don’t think I will ever be.
Hi Lisa, I love your commentary. I am very much interested in this topic. I Iove myself and I love people. It’s about being connected with individuals that have similiar interests , similar mindset, hobbies and business ventures. Sometimes as an older person, I can find that being a barrier for me to connect but I’m very flexible and open to new friendships, business partners and relationships. God bless.
I’m finishing reading the three and steps and crying, because I’m stuck right in these limiting beliefs. I’ve decided now that I’m going to take back the reins of my life, love myself and open myself up to new love.
Thank you for your incredible teachings. You are a being of light. LOVE YOU.
#BOA Hallelujah! YES! To Amazing Self-love!! Woke up this morning & actually did my first intentional practice! Am delighted to move on to #2 intention-posting here! The loving presence of this group is precious, delicious! Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!
I could not have heard this message at a better time. I am particularly grateful to hear about self love. I write this while in tears because I have realized I have compromise who I truly am. I want to genuinely fall madly and insanely in love with myself, but I have realized I don’t know who that is.
So here is my action points;
I will consciously make it my business to know my true authentic self.
I will choose me, accept me for the authentic person I discover myself to be and take care of me.
I will reward myself after any achievement, small or big and forgive myself for shortcomings and for where I fall short.
I will constantly seek to expand my mindset and fill my cup so I can help others grow as well.
I believe and I am committed to take these actions and change my mindset about my limiting beliefs that I am not chosen, I am not good enough and I am set in my mind with negativity such that nothing will change.
From the bottom of my heart Lisa, I am grateful. My life has changed forever.
Lisa, I’ve outgrown the limiting belief that God is general to all of us. I believe that God is unique to all of us, and He loves us all in Unique ways.
Thanks Lisa…great information! I love and appreciate you so much!
The belief system that no longer serves me is that I am not worthy of self or true LOVE!
I am taking the shot, not with someone else… Just Me
Steps to action….
I will rid the people and places things that are not in my new vibration..
How do I rid these things…or do I just prioritize me first by not allowing me to feel sorry for them.
That’s one of my challenges .. I know you say.. I can only fit through the door…
But is there something else I can do..
Ps. No matter what 28 days is a true blessing…