What To Do When Fear Is All Around You
Hi, there. Welcome back to the Lisa Nichols Show, where I share the tools that we all need and deserve to bring us into a life of abundance, love, health, wealth, freedom and connection. I love that we all engage with one another in this space – this is a beautiful community where we learn from one another and offer support and encouragement for the journey!
In this episode, we’re talking about what to do when we feel like fear is all around us. Not only is fear surrounding us, but uncertainty. People do not like to feel uncertain. It’s frustrating and it wears us down, and makes us feel weary. I remember my grandmother telling me, “Sweetheart, tired is one thing. But weary? Weary is another level.” So what can you do when fear is all around you?
Since 2020, we’ve been in a climate that has a lot of questions. We’re in a climate that has a lot of demands that we didn’t ask for. We’re in a climate that has a lot of requirements. The world seems like it will never be the same as it was, but that may not be a bad thing. So how do we navigate this new way of being in the world?
I want to share with you my top three tips for dealing with fear, internal and external, because one of the things that I noticed is that fear can be adopted. There are times when I woke up in the morning and I felt no fear. Then, by the time I went to bed that night, I had all kinds of stuff I was worrying about. I didn’t realize that a lot of the worries that I had by the time I went to bed were handed to me through a conversation, through the news, through me watching someone else’s life or journey. This fear wasn’t even mine, but it was keeping me up at night. Isn’t that crazy? So let’s get to those top three tips for dealing with fear.
Tip #1 – Talk about it.
Don’t just let that fear eat away at you silently – get it out of your head and talk about it. You will see how quickly it loses its power when you say it out loud. When you start talking about the facts surrounding your fear, rather than just sitting in the emotion, you put yourself in the driver’s seat. We can get so bogged down with everyone else’s emotions and opinions, but in order to quiet the fear, we need logic and facts. Facing your fear head-on, and stepping right into it makes you feel courageous, and it reduces the uncertainty by helping you to understand the fear and where it came from. That’s powerful.
Be sure to find someone who will talk through your fear logically with you, not someone who is going to feed more fear into you. You know who I’m talking about – talk to your friend who will be able to help you process it in a rational way, not the one who is running through the streets yelling that the sky is falling. Who we share our fear with is important, so choose carefully.
Tip #2 – Turn your fear into your fuel
Oh, I have done this so many times. Fear is not a bad thing. We have a relationship with fear as if fear is designed to paralyze us or that fear is designed to stop us, or fear is designed to immobilize us or make us worry. What if, instead of letting fear paralyze us, we allowed it to fuel us? I have done some of the biggest things in my life fueled by fear.
You don’t have to be courageous when you leap. You just have to have a little courage blended with the fear, turning your fear into your fuel. And how do you do that? You ask yourself, “How can this moment help me?” During the pandemic, when it first all started in 2020, I honestly was afraid that I was going to go back to my old weight. I don’t know if you saw me back then, but if you did, you know I used to be 93 pounds heavier than I am now. For 19 years, I was over 210 pounds, and I was fearful about going back.
I had just moved here to the Bahamas, and 42 days after moving here, I’m on the beach; I’m relaxing. I’m with the love of my life, and all of a sudden I’m shut down. I’m no longer traveling. I’m no longer moving. I’m no longer on stage. I had a fear. I never wanted that old weight to come back again.
So, you’d see me in my house doing curls with the broom and resistance bands on the bottom of the broom and me standing on it. You’d see me doing push ups. You’d see me on cinder blocks, pulling up water bottles. This all stemmed from the fear of gaining back the weight. What happened by the end of 2020? I was more toned, more fit, and 12 pounds lighter. I turned my fear into fuel. And you can, too.
Tip #3 – Remember that this is just a season
Don’t make a season a lifetime. If you’re going through a difficult moment, a fearful moment, a down moment, then do just that. Go through it. Now, you may have to stop for a moment and catch your breath, but it’s not a red light. It’s just a stop sign. Stop. Catch your breath. Remember, it’s just a season and keep going.
So many people get stuck here, because they allow their fear to become a way of life. This will make you weary. It will make it hard to move forward. But when you look at your fear as a temporary situation, you don’t allow yourself to stay there forever. It’s just a season.
Now, I want you to remember that this show is not just a monologue. This show is a delicious, dynamic conversation between adults: real talk – safe space talk. We are gladiators who are ready to shine our light and show up in this world in a big way.
This is your tribe. I’d love to hear from you. I’d love to hear about your big ah-ha today when you think about the fear or negative energy around you. How do you begin to navigate your journey through fear? You’re here. We’re in this together. We all thought this would be a sprint, just the year of 2020. That’s it. And now we realize it’s a marathon.
And now, you get to realize that you were built for a marathon. So please comment below. Tell me what you needed to hear. What was that very thing that I came and I delivered to you? And if you haven’t already done so, please subscribe. What are you waiting on? This is your community, this is your safe space, and I’m your sister. And every single time that I tell you I believe in you and I love you, it’s because I do. I’ll see you real soon.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,
Thanks Lisa,
I would like to connect with you directly.
I really not so sure of my potentials, I think I’m functioning below my potential and I will love to get out of the box and discover more about me and what I can do and become.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks a lot.
I appreciate your love and care. I like the tip about mixing just a little Courage with the fear. I can also relate to not making fear a way of life. That has a lot of connotations from my life. What I would appreciate you expounding upon is what you spoke about first, about how worrying about other people and their conversations and the news affect you. It would be reinforcing to hear you describe how to let go of all of that, I also have discovered one tool that really helps positivity and I have a fantasy that I can be on stage with you or on video with you sometime and share it
I loved this!
My fueled by fear moment:
Telling my husband I wanted a divorce, loading myself, one of my daughters, a cat and a dog, into my SUV, and driving across Canada for 6 days! With NO plan or even any idea on HOW to actually GET there!! And I hadn’t driven on a highway myself in several YEARS, due to extreme anxiety!!
But I did it. I had no choice. I couldn’t stay there. The fear of staying and not being able to support myself was my fuel. I have family where I am now that I’m staying with and will help however they can if I need it.
The reminder that it’s only a season was good for me. I’m looking for a job and place of my own to live but it’s taking longer than I want. Some days it feels like it will never happen, so reminding myself it’s only a season is helpful. Also, reminding myself that going through the last few bad years of my marriage seemed like it would never end, and my dream of coming home to my family seemed like a dream I’d never realize. And now, here I am!
Ps, staying at Grama’s. She’s 97 1/2!
Overcoming fear
As I listened to you this morning, you just reminded me that I have moved fear out of my way before to start a wedding chair cover business and never thought about fear at all, I knew I could make this little business work, now it’s dissolved and I need to move fear again to start another version (table scapes) wedding business on a smaller scale. You have given me the push.
Thank You
Lucille
“Fear is just a season” and take the lesp with a little but of feaf..its going to be okay, just keep moving.. in my life of so many trials and truma..i have learned thag sometimes moving through it” is the only choice Inhad.. as a profrssional woman..Inhave to tap bavlck into that power in order to step into my truesy selg and go to thr next level..I thank you for the reminder…
Thank you so much
Wow Lisa you said a lot that hit home. First let me say thank you so much for the material and info. I learned on my own to face fear head on so it’s amazing that you pointed that out. The fact that you can adopt someone’s fears is real and it took me months to learn discernment. Creating distance is how I deal with that now. Today I actually woke up and made up my mind about using fear to push me in the direction of my career so wild that this video dropped in after I started mastering this. It’s like you’re right on time. The ah ha moment was that it’s only a season! This has been a season of growth in many areas of my life but I’m only getting stronger and better. I’d say something personal but I don’t know who has access to this but we meet before without meeting(hint).
What hit home is to let fear fuel you! I’ve done this many times in my life but it always starts with the paralyzing fear 1st- thanks for awakening me up to use my fear right now as fuel in all the arenas its showing up in my life- which feels like everywhere. I’m about to do a fear inventory & fuel up!!!
Thank you for giving to the Lord
Thanks for this message. I didn’t realize that what I was feeling today was fear. It felt foreign to me, yet here it was. That is, until I listened to you and I went, aha! So I will take a nap and wake up in a better mood with a fresh perspective. Once I could put a label on it, I could relax! Preciate you, Lisa!!!
Hi Lisa. I have been living in terror and torment and torture and fear for my entire life. My mother and her family brainwashed themselves to hate girls. I am the only girl. My mother wanted me to live in fear. She is the wicked witch of the West. She and her sons made me a victim of domestic violence and I was homeless for fifteen years living in a car with my two cats in California. I was safer living in a car but it was never safe. I was in rental assistance for the past seven years and that was more terror. I am very different from other people. I am fifty years old. I was a straight A student but I had severe depression because my mother didn’t love me. Well now I am living at her house for the past year. I am a Christian. I learned that you are not supposed to be in fear. In September my mother and brother attacked me again. They enjoy attacking me. So I read something about fear from Kenneth Copeland who said that I have to pass the fear test. I have been alone for my entire life. I have been unsafe for my entire life. I was thinking about writing a book about my life. I don’t want to be on Facebook or a public speaker. I have to publish under a pen name. My book will bother people. Thank you for your video about fear. God BLESS you.
Your story motivates me and then I self sabotage!!! I feel that there is more out there for me but its just put of reach!! Thank you for lifting me up each time I fall.
Lisa, thank you for all of you rich nuggets. They encourage me and leave me feeling hopeful. I am going to keep pursuing what you have to offer. I’ve not been disappointed.
It’s alright to feel fear but don’t let it paralyze you. You can pause, take a breath but keep moving forward. I needed this because I feel like I have stopped. I haven’t run out of gas but I’m just sitting at the crossroad.
Oh my! I needed to hear every part of this conversation. It stirred something in me. I have let fear in my life for too long. I have a calling and a purpose. I have paused and taken that breath and hearing you speak is confirmation to rise up and be courageous and step into my rightful space to fulfill the dream that placed within me. Thank you my Sister for this intimate conversation. Until next time!!
The fear I am struggling with is deciding to walk away from my current job if they don’t make accommodations for me since I’m dealing with some health issues. Also, I’m concerned about being able to support myself financially if I do leave.
You are always such an inspiration!
Thank you Lisa for this peace of cake.I needed to hear this.I recently moved to USA from Africa to pursue studies and its not easy to be away from family and loved ones, a lot of fears and loneliness arise .I have been sometimes weary and I realised that I have to occupy myself with something more meaningful so I started 28 days to results .Now that you mentioned turn your fear into power , I realise that oh unknowingly I did that by being part of Motivating the masses and I am feeling happy about it .It has been awesome 7 days of learning. I cant wait for next level of learning with you and the team.
Thankyou so much for been a blessing to this generation. what you are doing is for us. dont stop ma.
Thank you, Lisa my sister!
It’s people like YOU who makes a huge difference in our world, it’s people like YOU who inspires so many to not be paralyzed with what they’ve gone through, It’s people like YOU who simply wants to help for everyone to have a much better life by stepping out of there FEARS that has impact so many including ME!
Yessss ME….. You’re so right by sharing our stories we ALL know it can help someone out there! I’m here to to share as briefly as I can that yes my life has definitely been a total roller coaster for the first 15 years of my life!
Within the first 15 years of my life my parents were alcoholics, my mother took her life in front of me at the age of six years old, I had three siblings, so all four of us were placed into a convent right after that!
We were raised by 12 GREY NUNS for just over 5 years with a lot of abuse there! At the age of 15 years old, I decided to leave home and go and raise myself! At that time, I only had one language French ! I found myself a job as dishwasher in a restaurant so I can survive!
so I can survive and did that for 2 years until I got promoted to being a waitress and definitely going through a lot of challenges to learn English on my own!
At the age of 18 I met the man of my dreams and life basically started there for me with still a lot of challenges due to the trauma I had going through, my relationship with him for the first 10 years was definitely up and down!
Moving forward to 1993. We were blessed with beautiful twin girls, by then we were already married, and life started to look up for me!
Here we are 30 years later, I am almost 60 years old, and finally sharing a little of my story in Hope it could definitely help someone out there to know no matter what challenges you have going through life can actually be absolutely beautiful!!
A big shout out to Lise, my sister, for encouraging me to share this with everyone!
Just remember it’s about choosing your hard!
And as for me, I decided with all the bullets that came at me over the years. Now I’m able to send the bullets back to the world and the Bullets I’m sending are full of love, strength. Prayers and hugs for everyone.!
I’m on a mission now to help so many people remain healthy no matter what they have gone through!
JUST KNOW NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN LIFE YOU ARE INCREDIBLE, WONDERFUL, FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL AND YOU MATTER!!
Thanks Lisa again for giving me the courage to share all of this!!
Thank you Lisa, number one was very helpful for me. Do I talk about with myself or someone I trust? Many times I talk to myself because I want to keep it close to me so that is part of my fear.
Thank you so much for this topic today, I am 68 years old. And fear in one stage of my life have had a stronghold and other part of my life it didn’t and I didn’t understand why but now I don’t have to be ashamed to open up honestly and talk about it my finance just go through it it’s just a season and I have made it a lifestyle ,not anymore just be courageous be open and honest and talk about it you’re not alone.
Hi I need all the help and guidance and education I am hungry to learn and change
Hi Lisa!
I’m super grateful for your post! I currently work for a very large drugstore in NYC, and theft is on the rise. My fear is that I’ll be stuck here. I’ve been applying for jobs like my life depends on it, but all I have been receiving is rejection—mostly that I’m overqualified or that don’t have the EXACT experience they want. Let me be clear, I have 30 years in retail with 15 of those years in management. I’m willing to learn and grow, so I’m struggling with the fear that I’ll never get out of this dead end job. I’m open to suggestions!
Yours in friendship,
Lauren
Hello Lisa,
Thank you for all the insight and wisdom you drop on us in nugget form. I really appreciate it and you. Hunny!!!! The part about letting your fear become fuel is exactly what I needed to hear. I have some big life decisions I need to make, and I do not need my emotions (fears) to control me nor jade my thought processes. My favorite line you stated, “if my light is to bright put on some shades”, because I refuse to allow anyone to dim it. Baby, that was a good little snack.
Peace and Blessings to you my Sista and the Tribe.
Hi Lisa!
Thanks for your valuable insight on the subject of fear and how to overcome it.
The acronym of Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. You will recall that the word Fear appears 365 times in the Bible but God has not given us a spirit of Fear but of power, love and of a sound mind.
Thus because fear has torment, it is from the devil and it is a weapon the enemy uses to paralyze us from not being able to utilize our potentials and becoming our best.
I must confess that I have experienced fear on many occasions: Fear of writing exams, Fear of Public Speaking, Fear of Proposing to a lady e.t.c but I just had to muster the necessary courage as courage is not the absence of fear but action in the midst of fear.
As Farrah Gray rightly posited that the things we deserve are on the other side of Fear and if only we knew that Fear kills more than Dane guns, we would be on our toes, reject the spirit of fear, brace up and be confident and with the tips you have shared, it’s gonna be a new day for us.
Thank you
Hi Lisa, my fear is from war. I was very young when that happened in my country. I had a feeling of being dead. Literally breathing and not living. It was so hard seeing e being there and after that it was hard to convince myself that we are alive. So that is my biggest fear!
Thank you for the reminder that this is just a season…not a lifetime. My fear is that I’m building my EFT practice and I serve LGBTQ+ folks who are going through the coming out process do so without the shame, guilt and fear that process brings. My fear is that by supporting my community, I’ll become a target of hate speech and trolled by mean people. My other fear is the learning curve in marketing myself and really “stepping out there”…
Thank you Lisa! aha… I stopped and caught my breath. A few years ago I went skydiving in Homestead, Miami. The morning of the event I remember waking up determined, excited but had a queasy stomach and yes I felt the fear. The thought of it jumping out of a plane made me sweat bullets. When I arrived to the location I was asked if I was doing a 12,000 or a 16,000 jump. I asked, what’s the difference? The instructor said it’s your first time, you wouldn’t even know the difference just go for the BIG one and enjoy the free fall and I did. When that door opened at 16,000 feet above sea level …“I felt the fear and did it anyway”. When I landed I was in aww and proud of myself for having the guts to feel the glory. For standing up to fear and going through it anyway. Now I choose to apply this experience to becoming a CTTP graduate and become a speaker ♂️ . Lisa…help!
My mind needed to hear your message and my soul felt your words…most grateful!
We get better by staying wildly focused on the simple principles of mastery, refusing to give up, working hard, treating people well & seeing opportunity where others see failure and staying true to oneself.
It takes great resolve & strength to leave the crowd… time waits for no-one.
Thank you for your gifts of humility & grace Lisa, that’s what pulled me in.