2 Powerful Techniques for Connecting with an Audience
Hi, and welcome back! It’s so good to have you here in this space where we have courageous conversations. This is a place where we grow and expand and we see ourselves in one another. Today, we’re talking about the science of speaking – but I’m not just talking about speaking from a platform. These tools are going to help you deliver a powerful message in all areas of your life: whether you’re a teacher or an attorney; a parent or a student; a professional, an artist, a politician or a musician. No matter what you do, being able to convey a powerful message is important.
Over the last 20-25 years, I have been blown away by the response to my speaking. And that got me thinking about how I do what I do – the science of speaking. I want to share that with you today – so get your pen and paper out, because you’re going to want to write this down. I have about 17 different techniques, but I’m giving you the two most powerful ones today!
Technique #1 – Show versus Tell
What this means is that you want to create an emotional response from your audience. You want them to feel what you were feeling. The way to do this is by first, tell them what you were thinking. Here’s an example:
“I was at a job interview, and I was sitting in the waiting room. My thoughts were racing. I was thinking about all of the ways I could make a difference in this company. I thought about the impact it would have on me and on my family if I were chosen for this job. My mind was going a mile a minute.”
Do you see how this lets your audience into your head? You’re giving them the inside scoop, and they can put themselves in this situation, and they know exactly how that feels. Now they are IN your story. The second part of this is to tell them how you were feeling. You might say something like:
“My heart was beating so fast. Oh, my God, I think I’m actually nervous. I think I’m actually scared, and I haven’t been scared in a long time. I really wanted this job. I really wanted this acceptance. “
Do you see how I engaged with my head and my heart? In this age of technology and social media, we often miss that connection. In the “Show versus Tell” technique, you are being vulnerable, and your audience will feel connected with those feelings, because they have felt them at some point in their own lives.
Technique #2 – Audience Connection (Me, We, You)
In this formula, we are cementing the connection with our audience. You want them to know that you are not speaking at them from a mountaintop. You are not over here, while they are over there. You are together. You are sharing this experience as a team – you are climbing that mountain together, so no one gets left behind. You want them to know that they are not alone.
The first part (Me) is putting your own skin in the game. You have to give them something first. The second part (We) tells them that they are not alone. The third part (You) is where you ask if they have ever experienced that same thought, feeling, or encounter? Here’s how it might sound:
“There was a time when I didn’t think I was good enough to be a speaker. I was a single mom. I was a black woman. Was I relatable to my audience? Was I going to be good enough to be a speaker, a CEO? We have a tendency to have a desire, a dream, or a goal, and then almost instantly question, ‘are we the person to make it happen?’ Has there ever been a time in your life when you wanted something, and you really, really felt like it was something that you could handle, but then instantly questioned yourself?”
So many people, in their everyday lives, feel like it’s them against the world. They don’t have a support system at home or at work, and they are trying to build a strong business, platform, community or family. Nobody understands what they are doing. You understand. You are the person who can give them the connection they so strongly crave. There’s a lot of power in this connection.
Now, remember, this is not just a monologue. I am not performing for you. This is a dialogue community. I would love to hear from you. I would love to know what’s on your heart. I would love to know one of the biggest ah-has you had from this episode. What did you hear about those two techniques? Have you already been unconsciously doing them?
Make sure that you leave a comment below and be sure to subscribe. Listen, I don’t want a quickie. This is not about you just coming and going. This is about us staying together, walking the journey. We want to walk that journey with you in growth, transformation, exploration, and expansion: we want you to win. Watch for more amazing content in the future, because we’re all a part of the same tribe. And when I say, I believe in you and I love you, it’s because I do. I’ll see you soon.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,
Thank you, Lisa, for providing this lesson. It has helped me a lot with gathering my thoughts for my presentation with just one viewing. I am excited about taking another step toward becoming a Legendary Speaker.
This was SO perfect
Thank you Lisa ♥️
Yes we Can
Thank you Lisa for saying this;
It took me somewhere.
It made me really look into my life stories more.
I don’t know if I can, it’s nerve racking.
I know that I’m not alone.
Thank you Lisa!
I write songs and act in community theater but when it comes to just being me I freeze up. In situations where I have opened up and shared something I naturally tell people what I was thinking so that’s feels good to know. By practicing these techniques I look forward to consciously choosing how I’m going to connect with others and even inspire them with the words and techniques I employ to touch hearts in an unforgettable way. Yay!!!! ~Amytra.
Thank you Lisa!
I write songs and act in community theater but when it comes to just being me I freeze up. In situations where I have opened up and shared something I naturally tell people what I was thinking so that’s feels good to know. By practicing these techniques I look forward to consciously choosing how I’m going to connect with others and even inspire them with the words and techniques I employ to touch hearts in an unforgettable way. Yay!!!! I’m going from fear to excitement! ~Amytra.
Thank you so much Lisa !!
You are so inspiring.
I wish I could talk like you and tell my unique life story .
I like your techniques I hope that I will not forget use them ..maybe it will give me just the corege to start tallking..you know…I am the kind of a person that don’t hurrey to talk about themselfe.
Lisa thanks for sharing and making me feel accepted. I love the techiniques you share to engage my audience. I would love to do something in my community. I am a retired Social Worker and I believe you can be one of my suporte to get me motivated again to help some member of my community to become the best versión of them selves.
Thank you Lisa. I added the audience connection technique to a speech I am giving next month. Although I speak to this group annually, this is the first time I feel confident about myself and my words. In fact, I am looking forward to speaking to them.
I also teach a class at a Junior College and was amazed at how smoothly the first class went. I also prepared ahead of time for the second class (not until next Friday) and do not anticipate running overtime. I am also reviewing my class notes. Usually, I go over time and feel that this lacks control and authority over my words. This kids are polite and don’t complain but I don’t feel good afterwards.
I am especially happy to hear you say you are not just talking about platform speakers but to anyone who opens his or her mouth. Be it to an audience of one or 100. That is my goal to be a legendary communicator. Now, I am an informational speaker on my way to becoming an inspirational speaker and then a transformational speaker.
I am happy and excited to learn that the thins you teach us we can use in our everyday lives.
Blessings! Diane Blake
I can always expect high energy with your delivery. The bold yet interesting expressions of your reach- compassionate and grilling. Love.
Thank you so much Lisa! Listening and learning from you is helping to bring my passion back for speaking. I unconsciously did these things but it’s been a while since I have spoken. Im grateful for you and your team!
These two techniques as you shared as being the most vulnerable are going to be really empowering for me when speaking to one of my ideal clients – post-abortive women of color. I used them both and felt intentional, heart-led, and connected to my audience although I was weirdly speaking into a webcam. This was unexpected and invigorating in an unexplainable way. I feel more connected to my audience just by learning and practicing. And there are so many more to learn. Thank you, Lisa! I appreciate you, the team, and the work that you do.
Thank you, that was so inspiring.
Really great lesson Lisa! I found this informative and deeply enriching as I can implement these skills on my journey. Thank you.
-Tribe <3
I have lost my confidence in myself and am not proud of my past. How do you overcome that
and present yourself as a confident or even friend?
Thank you.
I have been unconsciously practicing the first technique. Thank you so much.
I love you too.
ife.
Awesome information ! Will be putting these formulas into practice right away.
Thanks Lisa! These are brilliant tips!
I have heard amazing things about you and now,I’ve had the opportunity to hear you for myself and can feel the deep connection and the sincerety in your voice..Much love and Appreciation for this email,it sparked up an otherwise ordinary day…God Bless your Amazing soul ❤️
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reflect on my desire to become a effective and successful speaker. I believe I can bring my life experiences to an audience that will motivate and uplift them as you have motivated me now I will put these information into practice thanks again
Lisa, Thank you for being you and encouraging and inspiring me. May God continue to bless you.
Cortez
Hi Lisa, I am drawn to you humility and your grace…its so refreshing, you are sincere & engage with your heart…I feel it!
Every scar tells a story…we have many stories to share. Thank you for providing a platform for us to do just that.
My sister told me that when I walk into a room, its like a soft wind, I walk with grace and humility…I had never heard that before…it was very emotional as I have surpassed my voice for so long.
When I completed my third speech at Toastmasters Thursday past… I sat down & said to my self…Who was that women up there…I like her but she scares me a little:) Like you say, you have to do something you’ve never done & become someone you’ve never been…
Blessings always,
Deborah
Great insights Lisa! Do you have any personal coaching programs or opportunities available?
I utilized this technique just yesterday and it totally works!! I just want to be more of this version of myself. I also want to just send a deep thank you. I started learning with you over 10yrs ago now. The world needs our light!! Keep Lighting The Wicks Lisa
Thank you, Lisa. I know what it is like to try and build something without having a strong support system in place. So grateful to have found my support system through you and the tribe. That is the healing gold I have been looking to discover for a long time now!
I love this approach, it feels very genuine.
I’ve been doing this (unconscious competence), with my one on one encounters. Thank you Lisa for sharing. I believe that my vibes have finally taken me to my Tribe. I am looking forward to this journey together! Peace and love my Sister!
P.S. My new Feel, Felt, Found Technique!
Amazing! Your energy level and confidence are examples of where I would love to be. I have got to come out!
Hello Lisa,
Thank you for sharing all your knowledge to us. You are an inspiration. When I saw you wit Regan Hillyer on one of your YouTube videos, it gave me confident in listening to her.
Thank you for all that you do.
Hi Lisa,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to all of us as a tribe. I have learnt so much for you from the 5 day Challenge up until now. I am working on building that self confidence, and being able to articulate in a manner that will bring my audience along. My take home today will be show an experience Vs tell your experience. Much respect
Lisa, What stuck me most in this presentation was your direct flow of words. You have given me a formula for a great speech opening “It was a normal day and I was anticipating an excellent job review. I walked in with a smile, and that smile slowly disappeared as I read with shock. The words “Does not Achieve” seemed to be like I was on another planet or maybe in hell? WE tend to become, what we believe is, doing our best everyday, all the time, and getting praise for our work and dedication. Getting awards. Instead, this was a new boss, and today, it was different, ugly, revolting, and unfair. How can I turn back, or run, go back to my old job.
Run, run run, and hide. Tears were flowing. Have you ever wondered why you worked all those extra hours…” Lisa and anyone reading, I appreciate your feedback as I throw my first ball at you. Keep ’em comin’ and a big thank you.
Good evening! Your techniques are powerful! I believe I came over embarrassment and being scared of an audience a long time ago. It took place in my 30″s! When I said enough is enough. I prayed over my mental abuse from my abuser and said; No more Satan. To stop fighting and move forward with my life. Because that life of being with a narcissist for 18 years was over with. I just speak up more now. I just walk into the DJ studio ready and prepared with my words. I just don’t want to freeze up on my words. When our minds get to wondering on something else. While we’re in a meeting or standing in a audience. I love you! I love your work! You deserve it! Have a blessed week!!!
Always get blown away by your teachings and speeches lisa, thank you so much for this help! Incredible! always inspiring
my take-aways from this lesson:
-as a new coach, I have been telling about my experience, sharing data around my niche; I have to now learn how to show others about my own experiences around my niche
-I have been speaking from the mountain top; time to learn how to step down and lean how to share from the me we you principal
Thanks Lisa
I am interested in doing podcasts. Any suggestions would be appreciated
Thank you dear sister in possibility and in prosperity. It’s true, hearing these lessons again sense Motivating the Masses is what I need. And, I will listen to it again and again. I love the “Me, We, You Connection Formula. No more “Sage on the Stage” but rather it’s the person whose in the trenches with the people they want to impact.
Lisa, these techniques sound so simple but as you said, they are not the easiest. I’m looking forward to practicing these techniques in everyday conversations and elevating my coaching.
Thank you, Lisa, for the meaningful information. I intended to participate in the 5 days of Legendary Speaker Challenge, but due to internet problems. I fail to do so. The challenge was over when I managed to access some information. These techniques will enhance my everyday communication.
I am happy to listen to this episode. I am definitively going to apply this but i do have some concerns i want to share with you .
Hi Lisa thank you so much for being You. I’ve followed your amazing motivational and inspired communications for a long time and became lost. Thank God I found you again as I’ve been spiralling down a rabbit hole since stopping listening and making an effort to keep up with the lessons and insights you gave and shared.
Now your motivation have ignited me to start again on a journey of discovering my goals and aspirations. My AHA moment is when you say to share one’s feelings and not just tell about one’s experiences to connect with another human being. Now my feelings are, do I truly understand what Lisa said? You’re so right doubt immediately comes to my mind and I feel inadequate, Bless you so much for the best part of your teaching and motivation that is inclusive of everyone. I liked the example of not preaching from the top of the mountain…that is profound as I actually watched one of those speakers who do that lofty way of speaking down to others. That experience made me search for you instead. I feel like the prodigal daughter who returned to the fold. Thank you for this safe but challenging Haven. Love Peace and Harmony. This mantra my son Andre and I decided to use in our email and other communication. MarieJ
Hi Lisa. Thank you so much for the desire to see others improve their speaking skills. This video on the two tips is huge for me. I am working on my first meet-and-greet speech. These two tools I know will help me stand out. I have never shown my story nor used the me, you, we method. I’m excited about the audience feedback.
Hey Lisa,
Thank you for this beautiful reminder; I needed it. I am so nervous but, planning my first workshop, facilitating a program that I developed, and intending to use the audience connection formula AND show me vs. tell me techniques. I already know that with these strategies, I will increase my chances of having a powerful and positive impact on my audience. Thank you for sharing, always with so much grace, knowledge, and seeming effortlessness. You are appreciated greatly!!
Hi, Lisa I am just getting started on my journey of public speaking (although I performed in my one woman show “From Whores to Matriarchs:Black Women Survivors On the Edge” and I am a veteran broadcast journalist). My voice was altered during intubation following a suicide attempt. But no matter I MUST speak now to help black women survivors get free from the energetic stronghold of their perpetrators and move into wholeness. I am about to publish a book SPEAKMYNAME: How Black Women Survivors Can Overcome Sexual Abuse by Finding Their Voice and Moving into Freedom and Wholeness. I have some concerns about what I should be sharing ( you gave me tools on how to share and I am grateful). And I am thinking of joining your workshop Speak for Ultimate Impact and Profit. I am also concerned about the limitations of my audience? Could you please give me some perspective on these things. I am not afraid or embarrassed to share any of my dark and potentially transformational stories, just which ones and how, is the question. Thanks for your help. Peace & Blessings! (p.s. the website is a work-in-progress)
The “Me, We, You” technique is one I use in my Traditional Storytelling. I called it “Connecting” but I like your name & definition of it. It amazes me the power it gives the entire event. Thanks, Lisa!!!
Lisa,
I have been doing the Me-We-You for a long time without being conscious of it and it was a ah-ha moment to hear you explain in the way, that only you can do it. As always, you are amazing and what a wonderful lesson. Thank you, sister!
Ravi