5 Things to Do When Things Don’t Go According to Plan
Hi, there. Welcome back to the Lisa Nichols Show, where we have grown-up conversations about how to live the life we love, how to navigate when things get tough, and how to make sure we are honoring our birthright to abundance. Today, we’re talking about one of those times when we have to navigate those times when things don’t go according to what you had planned. There are definitely some ways to handle when life throws you a curveball, and I’ll tell you about five of them that work for me.
One example that comes to mind is the pandemic four years ago. Nobody saw that coming, and it derailed the plans of billions of people. I had just moved to the Bahamas to spend more time with my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time. I moved into a home in the same town, which would allow us to date without the challenges of living in different countries. Forty-two days after I moved here, Covid hit. I was in a different country, away from my family and friends, and had a very brief window of time during which I could choose to fly back to the USA—and believe me, I considered it. I didn’t have a car, not that I could drive anyway, because they drive on the opposite side of the road here. I had to make a decision, because my plans were no longer possible in the way I had imagined.
Another time I got derailed was when I launched Motivating the Masses over twenty years ago. Back then, it was Motivating the Teen Spirit. And, even though I thought I was going to be inspiring teens to be emotionally healthy, nobody was banging down my door to sign up for my programs. I had to decide if I was going to give up, or change directions. I am so grateful I didn’t just quit, even when I felt like things weren’t working as I had planned. There are so many times I had to change directions, and I know you’ve experienced this, too.
So, today I am sharing my Top 5 things to do when things don’t go according to your plans.
- Take a step back and evaluate the entire situation objectively. Take all of the emotion out of it, and look at the facts. By taking the emotions out of it, you can accurately evaluate what went wrong, and why it happened. Then decide how you will do things next time to get a better outcome. Looking at it objectively provides you with invaluable information that you can use moving forward. Each time you can take a look at something from outside of a situation, the easier it will be.
- Pivot and adapt. Look, I know you were counting on things going according to the original plan, but please do not hold onto a sinking ship. You have to be willing to follow a new path when you’re dealt an unexpected hand. Maybe you lost a job or got sick. Maybe a loved one passed away, or you had to relocate for a job. Holding on to the original plan just isn’t going to help you—you’re going to have to let it go, and move in a new direction, even though it’s hard. Oftentimes, this takes you in a better direction, so be open to what presents itself. Don’t let your ego stand in the way of your big pivot.
- Give yourself grace. THIS is a big one—give yourself grace! You are allowed to feel your feelings. Feelings are neither right or wrong, but they are real. Feeling disappointed, frustrated, embarrassed, or ashamed is completely natural, so take a moment. If you’re a leader, you’re going to have breakdowns. If you don’t, you’re not playing full out. So feel your emotions, and then move on. Don’t live there, or you will definitely get stuck. And always know that you are not alone (YANA). We all make mistakes and have challenges. Remember that, move through the emotions, and when you’re ready, move on!
- Call on your tribe. Hey, I know this can be hard, and it took me a while to learn how to do this for myself. You do not have to walk this path alone. The wisest people I know always call on their tribe. If you think you don’t have a community, and that you’re in it alone, then you need to build a community. And remember that you are a part of THIS community. I’d love for you to come to one of my events, either in person or virtually to really connect with this like-minded group of people, and know you are supported.
- Keep moving forward. Don’t get stuck in the quicksand. When you are growing, nothing stays the same—and it’s not supposed to! Eventually, what you’re going through right now will be in the rearview mirror…as long as you are committed to forging ahead. Take a look at what happened, learn from it, and make a new plan. If something similar happens in the future, you can look at it and say, “I’ve seen this before, and I know exactly what to do.” You are building your resiliency muscle as well as your faith muscle. You cannot build these muscles without tackling challenges, because that’s what makes you stronger.
I want you to remember that when a plan doesn’t go the way you wanted, you get to find out what you’re made of. You get to realize who you’re becoming, and connect with your convictions. Look at unexpected circumstances as opportunities to learn and grow. As long as you don’t stop trying, you cannot fail.
I want to remind you that this is not a monologue; it’s a dialogue between you and me, and everyone in this community. I love reading your comments, take-aways, breakthroughs, and a-ha moments. Tell me what you got out of this episode—what pivot do you need to make right now? The next time something doesn’t go according to your plan, which of these tools do you think will help you the most? Leave a comment below, so I know what value you got out of this episode. Believe me when I say that I love you. And I believe in you. I really do. I look forward to seeing you real soon.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,
Sure it’s true that we make plans here and it’s the Divine plan that’s gonna work. All we do is plan and try it out. But once the plan doesn’t work and we are hit with a force, getting stuck is likely more to happen. And Lisa when I listen to u or read what you say it really makes a difference and the push to keep going no matter what….. is really the most wonderful vibe from you.
Yeah because sometimes you think is it just me going through this.. is this just me who experiences these trials and it’s good to know that to become great we do have to build resilience… and that it not just me.. and knowing that this is all part of the process, is reassuring. Thank you Lisa and thank you Fareeda. Love Missy x
If you look at the website Hour4our.com you will see my avatar who represents my children and grandchildren and if this little girl who could be any nationality is not housed, fed, encouraged, educated and loved them who are we in this tribe, village, town, city country or world. I call everyone to action to build a cleaner, greener, healthier and more peaceful world I have been through loss of a spouse of 50 years, loss of my company due to 24% interest rates and I still call on my stoic resilience and faith every moment of every day we are all better together than apart. Create harmony around you not disharmony
Loved listening to you … I have a proverb for you “ you never know what someone is going through, til you have worn their shoes”….. you speak with true conviction. God bless you Lisa xx
THIS IS AWESOME A RIGHT NOW WORD TO LIVE BY AMEN KEEP LIVING BY FAITH THANK YOU.
Thank you Lisa.
The inspiration I need today is keep going forward. And believe i will get through.
Thank you!
Thank you LISA for showing us what to do as we wait for our highest good to come
Now that I’m divorced after 28 years of marriage, I’m back to being my problem-solving, face-any-challenge-as-an-adventure Self! I see practically anything as a puzzle that has all its pieces and can be solved!❤️ And Lisa, you were a big part of my restoration!!! I Love You my Sister ❤️❤️❤️
One thing I’ve heard you say before I didn’t hear you say here is,
“Trust Your Bounce Back!” That’s literally the root of the word ‘resilience’.
Also ’bout ‘calling on your tribe’, ‘Life supports those who support life.’
Align with Source and continue the flow of all that has flowing into you.
That’s abundance right there!
I love how you live life Lisa. Thank you for how you show up.
Blessings from down the road in the Bahamas.
Lisa,
Im the CEO of two nonprofits and an author. We have been challenged with not having enough funding monthly to serve our peers living with HIV and also providing support for our clients experiencing domestic violence.
But As a leader, faith walker and warrior we have been serving the HIV community for 10yrs and the domestic violence community 4yrs.,
We celebrate 10yrs with a production from my book “No Sad Story” and a formal gala in September, 2024 in Charlotte, NC and Rock Hill, SC.
What rang a bell for me today “Call on the Tribe”
No man/woman is an island, no one stands alone. I call on those I collaborate with in my church, community and of course my family.
Thank you for reminding us we don’t have to be on life’s journey alone. Reach out and touch and someone will touch you back.
God will never leave us nor forsake us. Then he gives us a SisterFriend like you.
Thank you for sharing you with us.
Lady V Speaks!!
Beautiful. Thank you
As a woman looking to start her own non profit for grieving and who has a couple of books out, you are inspiring me to keep at it.
Much love
Hi Lisa,
Thank you so much for this information and encouragement.
In October 24th, 2022 my fiancée went to be with the Lord. She bravely battled the bottle for two years. She was an amazing woman before alcohol snuck in and high jacked her life. She was a global sales manager for a major cosmetics company, had a beautiful hose with luxury cars in the driveway along with two great boys and a dog too! She had it all and lost it all!
She died penniless and without even an address. She was found alone and dead in a hotel room. There was no goodbye kiss or hug, no call or even text, just dead and gone forever!
Addiction not only steals the soul and often times the life of the addict but breaks the heart of their loved ones. Not only was my heart broken so was my financial situation. I did everything I could to support her and spent a lot of money and had a lot of bills. Shorty there after my work in TV slowed down and then the strikes hit!
I’m still not back to work full time yet and I’ve lost a lot of my things( home, guitars, mics etc.) yet I’m still hopeful. I believe there is purpose in my pain. I believe God will take my mess and make it my message! When I’m in a position to, I’m going to take your speaking course and share our story and bring more awareness and less stigma regarding addiction! I plan to integrate music into my message as I’m a singer as well. I’m calling on my tribe and hopefully yours as well to assist me.
I set up a GoFundMe to help me get back on my feet. https://gofund.me/df8bf49c
Anything anyone can do I appreciate .especially your prayers!
God bless you and the work you do!
☮️❤️Simply J
You hit everything I am battling on the nose. Thank you for walking in your calling and sharing your gifts.
With Gratitude & Love.
Great pointers and everything spoken was spoken to me.Thank you blessings.
I needed to hear this message today. I was stuck in my ego trying to make a situation happen that I needed to let go and I had to reach out for help when I’m usually providing help.
I had been given a few walmart gift cards by my friends business, after therapeutic group sessions. I normally go to my local Walmart where there are mostly cash registers and employees to help me. MY GOOD OLE WALMART TRIBE! But on this particular day, the streets were cut off, so I had to go to the Walmart with the self serve check out, beyond the reach of my caring walmart tribe who had saved me during embarrassing moments of holding up long lines, to put my codes in unduccessfully. Arriving at the self check out walmart was like my first day of being left in Kindergarden with violent bullies. I nervously stepped up to the self serve checkout station, and swipped my fruits, vegetables and pickles successfully. Perhaps GOD does live me, I thought. However, when the price was totaled and it was asking me to swipe the Walmart gift card, each time I swipped, it would not accept the card. The 9th time, I finally saw an employee, and called for her to save me. She pressed no bags, which I had forgot to do, then started swiping the card, 2, 3 times. Finally she said this card does not work. I said that I had just got it at a meeting, so it is a brand new Walmart card! She said no..you can not use this because… And I said it is probably the metallic strip that has become de-magnitized. She said no its not that. You can not use this card because this is your MEDICAL CARD. Like Doc Holiday once said in that movie TOMB STONE “For some of us, this world ain’t never gonna be right.”
thanks you
It’s a huge refresher that we always have. Community.
Also we just to listen to your voice and talk to acknowledge that all we need to do is pivot and shift to get where we will feel not so uncomfortable . Thank you so much
I hear you! I appreciate you! I am not a quitter, never have been since a little Deaf girl. Resilience still apply to me nowadays !! I am just waiting for life obstacles to lift first and then move forward to what I do want. I love your program called Ignite. I love the set up and accountability. I love on what you share with our tribe!! I will be back when a time call for action in stepping out of the comfort zone and share the world that need to hear and see (sign language) that they are not alone with dilemma. I see your remarkable courage as a mother and son at the most difficult times and how you blossomed to where you are now!! I admire you. Thank you for sharing your inspiring messages ! Thank you again!! Light and Love to you and tribe. It is just dialogue and hear our silent messages from within to activate our next step soon with faith!
Well, i had to read the dialogue… twice and watched the video before it sunk in. That i was actually going through all of that. Had my Mom die 2 years ago, seens like yesterday. My husband has been going throuhh stage 4 cancer last 3 years. One of my adult sons is now living with us and recovering from his past issues. And doing so much better. Then i broke my foot Christmas eve and was laid up for about 6 weeks. Had a friend come to visit a couple weeks ago and she is back home and in Hospice care now… what else i realized that i’m about to be 71 yrs old next month snd where did my life go ???!!! Really do not have a plan exactly when my husband does pass. And our beloved elderly dog passed last week. My Mom used to say its a great life if you dont weaken…. sorry to vent, but i always love to hear your story and get myself motivated ❤
Lisa, you mentioned “Faith” which is foundation I’m standing on. I launched my strategic wellness coaching “Home Detox Audit” several months ago. I’ve yet to get a single paying client. I believe my concern to bring awareness that we’re being bamboozled on the health front. I’m building patience, tenacity, and my faith to keep me moving forward until more of us are living happy healthier lives. Thank you for sharing the feeling you had when you first started “Motivating the Teens” because that’s how I’m feeling right now. Cindy
Lisa, you mentioned “Faith” which is the foundation I’m standing on. I launched my strategic wellness coaching “Home Detox Audit” several months ago. I’ve yet to get a single paying client. I believe my concern to bring awareness that we’re being bamboozled on the health front. I’m building patience, tenacity, and my faith to keep me moving forward until more of us are living happy, healthier lives. Thank you for sharing the feeling you had when you first started “Motivating the Teens” because that’s how I’m feeling right now. Cindy
Love that you mentioned to completely remove emotions when assessing situations objectively. Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do but it needs to be done in order to think clearly. This came at the right time, just when I needed to hear these 5 things to consider, and to keep moving forward.
I enjoyed watching your video and I did write down your tips. I am happy to know that I am on the right path. Currently I’m experiencing into step 3. Giving myself grace. “The bigger you play the bigger your breakdown” is so true. I was previously hurt and disappointed by the lack of support from friends and loved ones that in order to stay focused on goal I had to go into isolation and the loneliness almost broke me! Until one day I began to break free and came to realize that my breakdown was growing pains for the women I came to be and still growing into. After the passing of this emotional and mental storm I feel stronger and have so much more love and respect for myself because of it. This new walk feels so different from how I use to be and each day I find ways to learn more things about myself like how to let myself be more receiving to what my heart desires and the life I want to live and know that I deserve it and I am worthy of good things happening to me. Thank you for your tips and the confirmation to move forward.
“5 Things to Do When Things Don’t Go According to Plan,” was insightful and well thought out. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Evaluate the entire situation objectively.
Leave emotions out & Look at the facts.
Ego must go but, humility can stay.
Virtually, in person, etc., connect with tribe.
Adapt and Pivot.
Take a look at what happened and grow from it.
Inspire others.
Original plans change, make new ones.
Never give up!
You and those that commented inspired me to write this poem. I hope it inspires you as you have me.
“Elevation”
So many times I’ve had to change my direction; and life didn’t always permit me to have sudden recollection.
Because so many things in my life didn’t go according to my plans; sometimes I was confused and at times I didn’t understand.
My ship was sinking and I had to let go; and it seemed like everything in my life was moving so slow.
But no matter what happened, no matter my situation; I had to remember that just like there’s decline, there’s also elevation.
An elevator doesn’t just go up, it goes down; and sometimes we feel like we’re stuck on the ground.
Sometimes we may feel broken but, the pain didn’t come to last; we have to press forward and sometimes follow a new path.
I’m still learning to move through my emotions, so I don’t get stuck in one place; my chances of winning are greater, when I choose to run the race.
And when I start to feel like I can bear it any longer; I have to remember that challenges only come to make me stronger.
So no matter what happens, no matter the situation; remember just like there’s decline, there’s always elevation.
Patrice
Patrice I absolutely love your poem and comment. Take care, run your race with all it’s many terrains. Because life is temporary; it does have a exispiration date.
Hey, Lisa, (Sis) it is always sooo great to listen to you. Seems as if you always have the right words that hit straight to my heart. These 5 points are dynamic, they make so much sense to me, and gives me great insight. But the great take away for me is. KEEP MOVING FORWARD. Don’t get stuck. (Light bulb) I needed to hear this right NOW.
This is so important for me because, if I allow myself to get stuck, then I would be denying myself the opportunity of experiencing greater things awaiting me ahead. If I allow myself to get stuck into a situation I could loose my peace, remain bitter or angry, and unforgiving forfeiting my joy, and the opportunity to achieve greater wins in my life. (This is personal for me) Thank you Sis. Grace and love ❤️ Blessings!!
I don’t have a website, but you can check out my “secret” Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BodhiEssence/. I created this several years ago and I’ve just gotten active again. Anyway, I am currently pivoting from an overflow of abundance. Yes, I said that. Just a few months ago, I couldn’t get up off the couch. Then one day, the heavens burst open with a never-before level of consciousness and opportunities and information started flowing to me. The first major awareness was Shaman Durek. I’ve hated cooking for myself; now I’m cooking delicious food. The 5-Day Legendary Speaker Challenge showed up on my Facebook page, and I said “what the heck.” Then the opportunity for Ignite and Speak and Write, which hasn’t even really started yet. I have enough Delta Skymiles that my roundtrip flight to L.A. only cost me $40! I’ve had a desire and dream to write for over 40 years. I put it on my Vision Board right after I watched The Secret 20 years ago. I’m learning techniques to guide me through telling my story in an impactful and inspiring way. No matter how bleak things look, keep going. I’ve pivoted and adapted while slaying dragons. I’ve crashed and given myself grace. The next thing I know, I’m getting up to an alarm and exercising. Who is this woman who moved in my house and has taken over my life? She’s already unrecognizable and I’m still relatively Unconsciously Competent. I’m starting to put language to it all. Tonight I found out I’ve been given a significant scholarship to the Embodied Social Justice Certificate Program that started April 1 and run through June 28. It will be 2x/week with assignments and projects. I’ve been retired for over a decade. How is my mind and body going to function at the level required to maintain consistent focus, study, organization, and stamina to complete two challenging programs that will help me achieve my dreams for my senior years? I’ll keep moving and look back at the beginning of July and wonder how the heck I just did that. I’ll learn to call on a tribe whose names I barely know yet for support and cheerleading. Some might say this happened overnight, but I’ll turn 68 one month from today. I’ve worked my ass off to get here while I’ve often been overlooked and underestimated. When my dad kicked me out of the house three months after I turned 18 with only 12-hours notice, I subconsciously decided: “FU, watch me!” I jumped, I failed, I jumped, I flew, I crashed, I jumped, I took deep dives, I jumped, I flew higher, I fell. I’m taking another running leap. Watch me soar!!
Thanks again
We keep on believing in Our GOD he will perfect all that Concern’s us.
Thanks
Sister
((( Lisa Nichols ))) ~
10⭐’s across the board!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
The Bible says time and unforeseen occurrences can and likely will, at some point, befall all who travel on the broad road called “LIFE”
Nevertheless,
Each day comes bearing it’s gifts. Untie the bow
~Ann Ruth Schabaker
Mindfully count our blessings?.
keep breathing….
I was told many times..suck it up, your too emotion you need to more logical. I buried my feelings and covered the trauma in my past. When I think about these situations its like my brain goes into auto pilot to change direction.
How do I redirect this to help start healing time?
Emotions are so challenging for me..help!
Luv ya and am grateful I found you and your support
There is no such thing as too emotional, only people who do not know how to deal with emotions. This is not your fault and nothing you did was wrong. I invite you to start to meet your self with the inquiry, “is this real or true”. When you have a memory replay, a reminder of what someone once said, ask this question. This question will enable you to see that what they said is real, the experience you had was real and here, today as it was back then does not mean it is true. There are no facts to prove overly emotional is a thing. It is simply a perception and belief which limits you. It only exists because it was played on repeat. So yep its real but there is no truth in that. So please, meet yourself and recognise those emotions are important and they need to be there as a sign that you are human and you matter and they are telling you something and whatever that message is, is important. Listen. You deserve to be seen and heard and your emotions matter. You are important and so are your emotions. Big loves
I love the tidbits that Lisa shares with us, learning life lessons, we love and appreciate you for sharing all that you have and continue to learn beautiful queen sis, thank you.
Thank you for sharing I needed that. when is you nexuses event? how do I find a list of your events? I really need to lean into your community.
Oh man, you got me.
I’m working hard and pushing myself and just released a go fund me which took a whole lot of battling my inners and shame to get over to do and then, boom, all those who I was sure would show up didn’t. Yet they happily receive my free coaching, therapy sessions and workshops.
Sometimes I feel, im crying now but i guess it has got to come out. I dont often cry. I am pretty hardcore but you touched me in a way people dont often do. Im the person people come to when they need help and I help. Yet today i feel like these people just keep taking and taking and Im giving, not to get but because I love and I care and I show up. I know what its like to not have people show up for me. Its why im so independent.
Yet im sat here thinking I dont want to stop sharing and caring but how the hell does it pay the bills and fix the roof and get me drinking water. Im also giving myself a hard time because people are at where they are.
Ive done so much boundary work and that is working well. But for my online community and even those local to me, they take then do not help me in return. Out of the hundreds I help, I have two who show up when they can. One of them gives me a tough time for asking.
But right now, im four months in without a car in a sticky situation. Its the recovery post recovery from cancer. I do feel alone. I say I got out of worse, I recovered from worse. I continue to rise and be better off than I ever was. I needed this talk today. I needed this share today. Im greatful for this share today.
Thank you
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