Nurturing Your Relationships

Today, we’re going to dive into a topic that takes up a lot of real estate in our lives – RELATIONSHIPS. I’m not talking about professional relationships. I’m not talking about the relationships that come in and out of your life. I’m not talking about the relationships that in 10 years you won’t be able to remember his or her name. The relationships I’m talking about are your inner circle relationships, your friends, your family, your romantic interest, your safe spaces, your children. These are the relationships that affect every aspect of your life.

Did you know that the health of your relationships has a huge impact on everything in your life, including career success, money, and health? Think about that for just a moment. When you are in healthy relationships with those who are closest to you, other elements of your life will be on point: your money, your health, your spirit, your energy…you may not notice when these things are going really well, but you will certainly notice when they are off balance. Have you ever had an argument with someone you love, and then the whole day seems to go down the tubes? In the same respect, when you have a really great connection with someone, the other aspects of your life seem to fall effortlessly into place. You have a great conversation with your significant other in the morning, and then hit all the green lights on your way to the gym! Your energy is high, and it feels like nothing can stop you.

Your relationships can leave you feeling happy or depressed, energized or drained. This is why it is so important to take stock in your relationships, and recognize which ones are serving your highest good, and which ones you may have outgrown. Take a look at where you have experienced breakdowns in your relationships – maybe even from when you were young. This can affect your ability to trust others and to love fully, which in turn will affect your health, wealth and mindset. Sometimes, especially when we’re working on ourselves and our businesses, there are people who just don’t align with our energy anymore, and that’s OK. I’m not telling you to ditch these people, but just recognize how they are showing up in your life, and how they affect you. Setting healthy boundaries on the amount of time spent with some people can greatly reduce the impact of their energy upon you.

How are you showing up? How are they showing up?

How are you showing up for others? Are you nurturing those relationships that are important to you? Are you letting people know that you appreciate the roles they play in your life, and their contributions to your emotional growth and wellness? I had a really close friend who left me, not because of anything I did wrong, but because this friend was always there for me, a safe space, but I never said it. I didn’t acknowledge the importance of the relationship, or what it meant to me. You need to be the kind of friend you want to have – it’s an exchange, a relay. If one person keeps putting in, and putting in, and the other person takes and takes, it’s not balanced. You need to put as much into the relationship as you take out, just like your bank account. You can’t try to withdraw $800 when you only have $500 in the account. It doesn’t work that way. If you have a really great friend, partner, or family member who is always there for you, let them know! Invest in your relationships.

Think of how much you contribute to the relationship. Are you giving as much or more than you are taking? Do you do thoughtful things like calling just to let them know that you’re thinking of them? I’m not talking about sending a text or an email – that’s fine for a business associate, but I’m talking about someone you love. They deserve to talk to you in real time – they deserve a higher level of connection than your casual acquaintances. How often do you plan things together, whether it’s meeting for coffee or spending the day working on a project? If you’re going for long stretches of time without any meaningful connection, your relationship is going to become less and less important to you over time. You have to put in the effort!

Communication is Key

The first thing that usually breaks down in a relationship is communication. Are you communicating openly and honestly with your inner circle? Are you telling the most important people in your life how you are feeling and what you are afraid of, and what your dreams are? Are you talking about the things that are important to both of you? Do you know what your significant other’s hopes and dreams are? How did your best friend deal with the difficult challenge he/she faced at work? If you aren’t having meaningful conversations with your closest connections, they are going to fade into surface level friendships in a matter of time. Recognize if there are parts of the relationship that need healing, and do the work to heal those parts. Have tough conversations, even if it means hearing things that you might not like. I want you to lean into development, restoration or healing of the relationships. Ask what you need to do to start improving the connection – your loved one may surprise you by telling you how you never seem to listen to their stories, or that you seem to always bring the focus back to you. Really LISTEN to what your person is trying to tell you, and make a genuine effort to correct it. Recognize that if there is a breakdown in your relationship, there are two people who are responsible, and it will take two people to repair it.

A relationship is like a garden – you have to plant the seeds of intention. You have to decide that it’s going to be a great relationship. You have to water it, and let the sun shine on it. Spend time together. Make amazing memories. Hold your person’s hand to help them through a difficult time. Laugh with them when they experience joy. Congratulate them on their victories and hold space for them in their failures. Nurture the relationship and watch it grow. Don’t just take from it. How well would your garden grow if you were constantly plucking off the flowers before they could become fruit? You have to put in the time and energy to make that garden grow big, healthy fruit before you start harvesting. When you give to your relationships, your friends/family will remember how you sent a beautiful card with a photo or saying that reminded you of them, or how you spent an hour talking to them on the phone when they had a bad day at work. Do these things without expecting anything in return. And then one day, when you really need a friend, they will remember your kindness, and be there for you. It’s give and take. And when it becomes a give and take, a mutually beneficial connection, you will both harvest the fruits together. And when your friend makes a mistake, don’t keep score. Don’t collect evidence to use against them later – water the relationship with some grace. Forgive them and recognize that we all make mistakes, and when you make one, they will show you some grace and understanding, too.

This week, I want you to think about how you are going to nurture, replenish, repair or develop your important relationships? Is there someone who needs to hear that you’re sorry? Who do you value that you haven’t told? How can you improve that relationship? The connections that get your attention and care are the ones that are going to thrive. The ones that are neglected or taken for granted will wilt, and eventually die off. Share your comments with me, and let me know about your takeaways from this conversation. I value the relationship we have in this community, even though we aren’t together in person. I want to see our community grow and be healthy in our communication, so please keep the conversation going in the comment section below. I love you and I believe in you. I believe that we can all have better relationships. Let’s put in the love and care to help them grow.

Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,

35 replies
  1. Anonymous Contributor
    Anonymous Contributor says:

    This is a valuable perspective; however, I wonder about other parts of one’s reality. What about when your cup is empty, and you need extended time to repair yourself, but people who you have shared loving relationships with feel you are taking too long to do so? What is the approach to that? Sometimes more solitude is necessary to reach certain spaces.

  2. Colette
    Colette says:

    I support you in taking care of yourself in the ways that you feel you need to & I understand the need for alone time. Everyone doesn’t though and can take it personally. Like Lisa said, communication is key. We need to let others know how we feel & how it’s not about them. Love is accepting & not conditional. It goes 2 ways when it’s healthy. We have to remember that we can’t control anyone else & it’s not our job to make them feel ok. But we can be open & honest & trust that they’ll accept you. It also can be a good time for you (me too) to look at whether we’re avoiding the communication that might be helpful to both parties involved & that could actually deepen that relationship.
    I’d love to hear what Lisa would say about this!

    • Anonymous Contributor
      Anonymous Contributor says:

      Great insight. I am very certain of my needs and where (who) I need to receive from as needed. Alternatively, I have always been high-level on the giving side, but have had to pull back in the method for the sake of me due to a number of life experiences in the past few years. I am still involved, just differently. I have communicated that well, but some take it personally or wish for the expressions of the spirit to land in their laps when it isn’t for them. That part is well-meaning of those who feel it is shutting them them out on a grander scale than it is, but it is also fine to go to different people in your life for different things rather than everything. I think it is also similar to the concept of love languages. Some people may only want it their way and in the time they choose, but it should be more about a common zone that works for all involved. It is healthier.

    • Anonymous Contributor
      Anonymous Contributor says:

      Actually, Colette, I think on a 3rd review of the information, I think it is about evaluating the the line between outgrowing a relationship or repairing one.

  3. Zenettte steele
    Zenettte steele says:

    This was an eye opener for me on how to nurture my relationship with others ,I had a spinal stroke at age 59y after taking the booster within 24hr two months ago which left me as a paraplegic , am at home my I wish I had a good care team , I cry at times because of that , I will try what I’ve learn today hoping I get a better care team .Thank you zenette steele

    • Anonymous Contributor
      Anonymous Contributor says:

      I wish you didn’t have to have such a depleting experience. Hopefully the right people come into your life and you are able to keep each other held in the rollercoaster of life.

  4. Colette
    Colette says:

    Thank you, Lisa! Lots to consider and I’m going through answering your thoughtful questions. It’s so easy to think about what is bothering me about those who are close to me. I know I want to focus on what I appreciate & let them know that I do appreciate them.
    I hope you continue more discussion with this topic!

  5. Edwige Franois
    Edwige Franois says:

    Lisa I admire you for your courage your determination. I am in a relationship with my soulmate suddenly everything is falling apart. Disrespectful infidelity not care anymore for me and the kids. What can I do to make it better. Im loosing faith. Please give me an advice. Thank you

  6. Eboni
    Eboni says:

    I always felt as if I cultivated my important relationships, by showing love with gifts and saying I love you and also letting those people know I appreciate them, but those are the very ones that did me dirty so I was forced to cut them off. But I do miss them. How do you repair that?

  7. Elma Clarke
    Elma Clarke says:

    Thank you so much for your words of knowledge. I think my relationship with myself and my daughter needs healing, acknowledging, and repair. Need to get ne some help on this.. I love my daughter, but there are some things that have happened in the past that caused these issues we are having. Thank you so much for your inspiration on light on this topic. Blessings to you, my sister. If there’s any way you can help, please share. Thanks

  8. Karen Reed
    Karen Reed says:

    I love Lisa and she is such a great example and inspires me!! She is so easy to listen too and she always makes me smile and brings me joy!!
    Thank you Lisa for the awesome lady you are!!
    ♥️ The Dancing Realtor

  9. Jackie
    Jackie says:

    This weekend I came to the conclusion that if I want to break the cycle of broken relationships within my family then my children must see their mum and dad communicating in a more healthy, loving and respectful manner. My other half is in Jamaica and returns next week. We have been communicating over the phone with our intentions to actually work at the relationship rather than take it for granted. This message from you has come at the divine time and I cherish everything you have said and you have given me renewed hope and confidence that our relationship will get back on track.

  10. Anonymous Contributor
    Anonymous Contributor says:

    I encountered an aha… One inner-circle friend is one who has made numerous withdrawals over the years and I have always been fine with that. In this new season, the conflict has been the awareness of what I have gone through, but not giving me room to not be in constant service or not respecting the choice to shift to more spiritual time to realign. What there has been is entitlement to still reach for the needs of self no matter what I share– energy vampire status, unfortunately- so I realize that because “no” doesn’t register well with that one, it has become easier to skip direct interactions. The method of preserving myself is causing some breakdown, though I am sure it is a person I want to keep for a list of reasons. This friend has discomfort because there is an awareness I do talk to some others more because those interactions feel safer. We have worked through a lot because we communicate well enough, but I do have reservations that it will be a cycle. Relationship maintenance can be difficult and tiring, but worth it for the right ones. So, I believe I need to find a way to better drive home the idea of love in friendship still existing even when there are boundaries in place. People enjoyed me way more when I had less boundaries. At a time in life, I imagine I was a person who didn’t realize what my errors were, but I am in a new place with a different sense of balance and priorities. So, perhaps that is the place I need to invite certain people into. Then I can see what spaces they invite me into so we can discover our relationship balance…

  11. Shanti
    Shanti says:

    Thank you Lisa. So powerful – I was hanging on every word. Nourish and Nurture, Don’t keep score. Keep making deposits of love. Feed and water with grace, acknowledgment, consideration, understanding, compassion, and LOVE. “Take your cape and your shoes off – let me rub your feet!”

  12. Kisha
    Kisha says:

    When you said asked us to reflect on how we’re showing up in relationships, that hit me hard. I’m so focused on what someone else isn’t doing and how they’re doing it wrong, that I completely stopped showing up. I was indeed collecting evidence. This topic has given me the time to identify relationships that I want/need to repair. I love the basic principles you shared about building a relationship: Random Acts of Kindness, nurturing, grace and loving deposits.

  13. Dr. Dorothy A. Muhammad
    Dr. Dorothy A. Muhammad says:

    I just have not been HONEST with anyone…not even myself! I’m not sure if I even want to be open enough to lead with honesty! Damn!

  14. Brenda Frew
    Brenda Frew says:

    This was a great video!
    I love the relay concept! I’m all about word association.

    I’ve noticed that I’ve been mirroring my family. Then when I don’t, is when they mirror me. Is this the same thing as relay?
    I apologize for being late to the program. I love your energy, and feel good about this process.

  15. Liza
    Liza says:

    Lisa that is good advice for everybody. Even those who are not married yet, to see what it means to be in a marriage and the emotional and mentally work that it cost to keep it healthy. IT is very good information.

  16. Gunjika || Power Woman Coach
    Gunjika || Power Woman Coach says:

    Dear Lisa,

    I so resonate with you when you ask us to acknowledge whether we are feeling safe or not in our surroundings. As women, its so shocking to find out that you are unsafe in the home that you are born and grew up in or in the home you came after marriage. Every hour more than 5 women are being killed around the world by their intimate family members. So many of us are unsafe at home.

    I am writing a book on the safety at women at home. I would be grateful if you could consider writing a foreword for my book. I will accept whatever you decide.

    Thanks and respect,

  17. Heidi
    Heidi says:

    <3 thanki you, thank you, thank you.
    What can I say more? I knew but I had forgotten. Thank you for reminding me of the very essence.

  18. Rochelle Arellano
    Rochelle Arellano says:

    Really loved this teaching on relationships. Thank you. I really loved the part where you ask the viewer what are you doing to water the garden of your relationships? That really resonated with me. I too think that we are like flowers in Life’s garden, and we need to nurture ourselves and others intentionally. Also loved the teaching on random acts of kindness as a way to share our loving intention.

  19. Gloria Thompson
    Gloria Thompson says:

    I would love to attend in April this is something that I feel could help me tremendously but I cannot afford it maybe one day you will come to Los Angeles California and I will be able To meet you and attend your workshop so that I can grow And help others I have a burning and a yearning to help others I am an amputee and I would love to help those that have limb loss. Thank you and continue to be a blessing in all that you do.


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