Celebrating Love from the Inside Out

It’s Valentine’s Day this week—a day to celebrate love…and not just romantic love but all kinds of love—sibling love, family love, pet love, friendship love.

Love is a big topic, but this week we’re gonna dive in because I believe that love doesn’t come from the outside–love is a reflection of how you’re currently loving yourself.

Now I don’t know about you, but that was one of the biggest things for me to learn—that the way I love myself was going to be a mirror for the way other people loved me. I couldn’t really get that concept in 1994 or 1997 or even in 2000. I thought that other people would love me so much that it would help me love myself.

But now I know it DOESN’T WORK that way. Now I know that others can only love you when you love yourself. Now I know YOU are the best example of how it feels to love you.

So, let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s begin to look at not just our to-do lists but look at our “to-done” list and celebrate ourselves for all the things we’ve done. Feel a love like you’ve never felt before for you–even if it feels a little self-indulgent. Because when you can fill yourself up with love, all of a sudden love pours out of you to give to others.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

What is your love relationship between you and your siblings or other family members?
Are you in a romantic relationship? If so, how does it feel?
Have you taken stock of your love relationship with friends?
How are you living in love?
What are the ways you show love?
How are you allowing yourself to be loved?

I always say, love is an action. Love is not static. It is not a NOUN. It’s a VERB. Notice all the love nuggets that are all around you…from your pets, your friends, your colleagues, your family, your significant other.

If you’re looking for the energy of love to COME to you, then the energy of love must EMANATE from you and overflow. And if it requires you to do something you’ve never done before, or something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable, heck do it for love!

I coach people all the time who are looking for love. And I always say, “You’re looking for love, but how prepared are you for your greatest love?” Even to up-level an existing relationship, ask yourself, “What do I want right now? What looks and feels great to me? What does great love feel like to me?”

Then, be an example of what that looks like on the giving end. Give great love to yourself and others.

Ask yourself:

Am I ready to receive great love or will I deflect it?
Will I become too busy to even see it?
Am I protecting myself from love because I don’t want to get hurt?

I challenge you to focus on love. Give me 30 days, 40 days, 90 days of just focusing on love. See love wherever you go. Feel love all around you. Give yourself love every day.

Then, please let me know how it goes and share your thoughts and experience noticing love in the comments below.

Remember, this is your home. We are your tribe. And when I say I LOVE you and I BELIEVE in you, it’s for one reason. BECAUSE I DO.

Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,

19 replies
  1. Makeda Johnson
    Makeda Johnson says:

    Today more than ever as a nation faces so many challenges you a message of love speaks to the need for recommitment to the building of an inclusive beloved community. Thank you for sharing a deep dive into love

  2. enza
    enza says:

    First of all lisa, let me tell you that I admire your wisdom and your work. I fully agree with the above and can relate to what you said ” that others can only love you when you love yourself”.
    However, although love is unconditional, I believe that the success of any relationships is a two-way street. You can love the person you are and have an open heart, but how do you sustain or mend a relationship with a family member or a friend who does not see or value who you are? That still gives me food for thought.

  3. Lydia
    Lydia says:

    I believe that even in 2021, many fall victim to love from others while we struggle to love ourselves. We begun by allowing external parties or entities to define what love is and how love is to be expressed. If a person does not love herself/himself, I imagine the difficulties of truly identifying love. Lessons learned: I dictate what love is; I love Me because I am the author of my love; and what you allow you encourage.

  4. Sajani Rai
    Sajani Rai says:

    Hey Lisa,
    You are so full of love and a powerful resonance helps us vibrate higher too…thank you so much sis.

    And much love to everyone in the Lisa Nichols MTM family.

    Sometimes we forget to value the power of self-love and we get swayed away to seek love elsewhere … but such teachings are a great reminder time and again to keep our cups full 🙂

    Love and Light from India
    Sajani Rai

  5. Celestine
    Celestine says:

    Me I keep on loving them. These are my Peeps! My challenge with family when a challenge show up, is to step back, take a relaxing breath. Take a look into what may have happened. Until I get to understand quickly, what just happened, and why? What’s going on here? All this is going on before I can even open my mouth, why? Because I’m quickly working this situation out in my Mind! Until I have done all that I can to understand. Realistically, I have to deal with it, get clear for our future now. Once that door is open I have to take the opportunity to reconnect lovingly. This is where, in my experience the healing takes place. Finally, until family member/members are open to me, and willing to heal through our relationsships together! It can be an awesome moment, space and time too! You will find yourselves laughing and smiling about the whole thing most of the time.! R E A L A T I O N S H I P S. Now that two way street, you mentioned. This is the experience I have been brave enough to walk through with differences, Woo! Be prepared to be present to accept the results you get and move on respectfully, forgivingly. Hey! We can only control ourselves. So create the positive outcome you would like to have and hold the space for it to manifest! Look I’ve seen time fly! I want to fly too! I would love to have my family support! I don’t want to soar without them! Ase’ Ase’ When you know, you know! Instead of being disappointed, angry, and having resentment or anything else that may be in the way of restoring the real love that exist between you and family/family members. They are an important and significant piece of your personal life puzzle. It can be hard as hell! Eventually you both or the whole will talk it out with all do respect and be responsible with choice words. Thank you enza! I hope this was helpful. Just sharing. Thank you Lisa. Peace & Love

  6. Nelson Rosa
    Nelson Rosa says:

    Real unconditional love is a person, neither a feeling and nor a noun.
    God is love and to love is to serve for God’s sake.
    We can only love, ourselves and others, to the utmost if we are aware of how much God has loved us first.

  7. Erin
    Erin says:

    Hi. I am learning to love myself the way I am supposed to after being in an emotionally abusive marriage. I am learning that love is intrinsic, and it overflows extrinsically as I show the outward expression of love to others. Self love is not grounded in arrogance and narcissism, but it is grounded in servitude.
    Thank you for your inspiration.


    I think you are Amazing! As I search for answer to “who am I?” and “who I am not”, your encouraging videos hit the spot. I am loved. Simply loved.
    Happy Valentines Day❤️

  9. Sophia
    Sophia says:

    OMGG!! So so beautiful !! I love you Lisa. And when I say this it is because I really DO!!! Thank you for this inspiration!!!! Focousing on Love is the best thing we can do for ourself and for others!!! It is really what we all are!!! Thank you so much. I am gona use the afirmation, and continue to focous on LOVE!!! Being the Love that I want to receive!! Thank you <3 Blessings !!!

  10. Crystal Chase
    Crystal Chase says:

    Lisa, thank you for this fabulous message of love. This is something that I’m implementing right now. I am starting to learn/remember how to love myself.

  11. Mary
    Mary says:

    Lisa I love your message , your energy and your commitment.As I breathe in all you say today, I am also forwarding it to my granddaughter Who is going through some relationship challenges. Thank you for all that you do and all that you are.

  12. Kelly Bailey
    Kelly Bailey says:

    This video made me smile without realising I was. But best off all I just wanted to share with you that I had a up and down relationship with my parents so I’ve never truly felt real love(apart from one aunt) till I had my first child at a young age but now I have a 19 year old and a 2 year old and a one year old and I love them with all my heart and soul but the first time I’ve been single in 20 years is now since may last year and I’ve never felt more complete than now I know I don’t need a partner and I feel great being a single mum and I’ve recently found myself again again and I’m happy I’m truly happy and I’m truly blessed and grateful to have my beautiful children and to just be me and do what makes me happy which is being a mum and doing these beautiful courses I’m doing and Lisa can I please just say you have been a massive part in me finding myself again and I’m so grateful for the abundance of love and hope I receive from you and your work Thankyou

  13. D'Arcy
    D'Arcy says:

    This episode was a “confirmation” of the area of focus where God has me right now, focusing on “LOVE”. Thank you Lisa for sharing transformative insight on perhaps the most important topic of all, which is “LOVE!” Whether in the month of February or any other time, “LOVE” is always in season!

  14. Michelle D
    Michelle D says:

    Absolutely true! LOVE need to given, shown and appreciated. Define LOVE – According to the dictionary, love is “an intense feeling of deep affection.” Meanwhile, Urban Dictionary defines love as, “The act of caring and giving to someone else. Having someone’s best interest and wellbeing as a priority in your life. To truly love is a very selfless act.” The actual meaning of LOVE -Love is when you choose to be at your best when the other person is not at their best. Love is when what you want is never important. But what the other person needs and wants is always paramount. … “That’s a hard one to do, but that’s what true love is.” God is Love! Love you also, take care and God bless you always.. Thank you Mrs.. Lisa for sharing your wisdom❣

  15. La Tanya Harris
    La Tanya Harris says:

    Thank you for the reminder that I AM ENOUGH!
    For so many years I too struggled with not being enough. But I’m grateful to know that I am enough, I am at peace with who I am and I am overjoyed and excited about who I am becoming.

    Peace, love and blessings!

  16. Mudita Marathe
    Mudita Marathe says:

    Thank you very much for such kind and loving words. What you said about focusing on the work we have done rather than worrying about what is still on the to-do list touched me. We are always running toward the next thing, never stop looking back at things we have accomplished and celebrated them. I hope every person on the path of self-love believes in themselves and continues despite the challenges.


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